Sister Sh*t

Ducks, dolls and a good ol' fashioned cigarette with Neil & Luis (Part 2)

• Caroline Smith and Meredith Walker • Season 2 • Episode 16

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We're back (AND we've got a bad date to boot)! Reborn dolls, Jeep culture, and more opinions than you asked for, just like you like it. 

Follow us on socials at @sistershitpodcast ;)

SPEAKER_00:

Hi, hi.

SPEAKER_05:

Happy Tuesday. Welcome to Sister Shit. I'm Meredith. I'm Caroline. Last week we had a duo so nice that we're gonna get them twice. We're back with our second part of our conversation with our dear friends, Neil and Luis. We hope you enjoy. Okay, okay. So one of the things that Neil and Luis said after listening to season one was that we need needed to do more bad dates, or I had a boyfriend for a minute.

SPEAKER_03:

They're so great. They're so good.

SPEAKER_05:

But Mayor's response was we ran out of bad dates with boyfriends.

SPEAKER_04:

When you get married at 21, it's real tough.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. But we've got an a new um new dating pool to share stories from. Yeah. So who wants to? Do y'all have anything for us?

SPEAKER_02:

Like my only boyfriend was a very tragic story, so we probably won't share that one.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

Um, but I did go on a date with a few.

SPEAKER_05:

We've all got those too. Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_02:

So I did go on a date with a gentleman. One, I feel like I have to preface by saying, I'm a Libra. I feel like I fall in love with just about the anybody that's nice to me, I'm like, oh my gosh, that's my soulmate.

SPEAKER_05:

Really? Yeah, so growing up. My son's a Libra, so it's key.

unknown:

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Growing up religious, I feel like I didn't really date around much, so it was really awkward knowing I was gay and not being able to do the thing. So learning so much in my 20s. And um, I went on a date with a guy. I get to pick a name. Uh um um um um um um.

SPEAKER_05:

His name was Mike. Mike Mike. Mike with Mike.

SPEAKER_02:

Mike Mike and Mike. Mike, welcome to the stage. I wanna say that I wasn't using grinder at the time because I was like, I need to focus on finding love. So I was on Tinder. Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

Wait, but Tinder's like the same as bright buttons on Tinder. Like, they're both very similar.

SPEAKER_03:

I feel like in the gay community, I think one of them has less hole picks.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh god.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, holes. I guess. Oh my god. We know nothing about online dating either. That also will do it to you if you get married at 21. So, okay, hole picks.

SPEAKER_02:

Clutching pearls.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, so we'll we'll come back, right?

SPEAKER_05:

Crawl space.

SPEAKER_04:

Neil is dressed as the house that fell on the Wicked Witch of the East on Halloween, and he kept referring to that crawl space. To our mother. Melissa, we love you.

SPEAKER_03:

Melissa also taught you how to smash cocka chicken. Remember that girl? You did? Yes, Adam. Listen, anybody that will sit and listen to me, I will tell you about my entire life, okay?

SPEAKER_05:

Love it. Love it.

SPEAKER_03:

And I'll also give you a few a few free recipes.

SPEAKER_05:

That's why we're friends. Okay, so you can see.

SPEAKER_02:

The recipe actually does kind of play into this story, too. Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

So from grinder to Tinder.

SPEAKER_02:

No, no, right, right. We're testing Tinder out. It's a little bit more mild in the gay community. That's usually where you look for a long-term. Real life. Yes. Right. It's less hookup culture. Yeah. When in the gay scene.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02:

Um, so match with Mike.

SPEAKER_05:

Super cool.

SPEAKER_02:

He's a gamer. He's in he's he is a tech bro. Um not the cutest guy, but I'll whatever, you know.

SPEAKER_05:

He was really funny.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes. He had a good personality. It was great. Like we would talk all the time. When we first decided to meet, I literally just came to his house and we played video games, and it was like the most wholesome thing ever. Not wholesome. Different different word. W Holson W. W H. Wholesome. But he was very respectful, and I was like, that's so cool. My rule when I was dating was that the second date is always a cooking date.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02:

Always, always, always.

SPEAKER_05:

Wait, because you're testing out if they can cook or you're testing out teamwork or all the things.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, precisely.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay. Love? Love. That's brilliant. I would have never found love.

SPEAKER_03:

I passed the test.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, you did. Of course you did. You can spat up your matchmate in heaven. Y'all are a matchmate in heaven.

SPEAKER_02:

But you you get to see the flow, how y'all communicate.

SPEAKER_05:

Um I did the Mormon church teach you this?

SPEAKER_02:

Well, no. I mean, I learned how to cook before I went on my mission.

SPEAKER_05:

No, I mean like on the second date you cook. Because that feels like a Norman thing. That does.

SPEAKER_03:

Gotta make sure your wife knows who. Exactly.

SPEAKER_05:

Exactly. Exactly. And Louise is like, wait, this is for me.

SPEAKER_02:

It's kind of weird. Um. Yeah, but he comes over. I'm in like this tiny little like student housing. I have two pots to my name.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

A pan and a pot.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

He comes over and he's like, oh, like, this is interesting. Um, I can't remember what we were making, but everything's going well. He is using metal utensils, a metal fork on the telephone pan. And I tell him, hey, I set up.

SPEAKER_04:

This is my one pan. And my one fork.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. I tell him, I'm like, use the silicone. I put it out on the counter for a reason. Again, trying to communicate, see how he handles a direction.

SPEAKER_05:

And the thing is, is like, Neil would never. Heil would never.

SPEAKER_02:

Neil calls me out when I try and use. I'm like, excuse me, that's wood.

SPEAKER_03:

Only silicone. Girl, we got the KitchenAid. We need to make sure them shits last, okay? But this boy.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, KitchenAid.

SPEAKER_03:

I know, we're a name brand family.

SPEAKER_02:

They were name brand, but I still cared for them. He goes ham on those things and he tells me, he's like, it's alright. He's like, I'll just buy you new pots and pans.

SPEAKER_05:

What? Oh, because he did Tech Bro. So he's like, I'll just get it. He's got the money.

SPEAKER_02:

He's like, I'll just buy you a new set. That's fine. He's like, if I do it. Right. And I I that gave me the biggest ick. Yes.

SPEAKER_05:

Yes. I don't, that is one of my big like, I do not want anyone to brag about their money to me.

SPEAKER_02:

It is.

SPEAKER_05:

Or waste shit. Or waste shit. Yeah. That's like in not environmental.

SPEAKER_03:

Just take care of your things, but also my things.

SPEAKER_02:

Correct. It was the disrespect in my environment.

SPEAKER_05:

And to be like, I'll just buy you another one.

SPEAKER_02:

That's wild, actually. It's like, that's fine, I'll just buy you another one.

SPEAKER_05:

Uh uh.

SPEAKER_02:

Which he didn't.

SPEAKER_05:

No.

SPEAKER_02:

Of course he didn't. He did not. But I also wouldn't have accepted it from him.

SPEAKER_03:

Shame on Mike.

SPEAKER_04:

Mike?

SPEAKER_05:

Mike. Did y'all go on another date?

SPEAKER_02:

We did.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay. What was the third date? What was your third date requirement?

SPEAKER_02:

We very random night. Had had dinner with I guess it was like an Asian club that William was a part of. William is my friend that y'all haven't met with.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

Um. We all decided to go out and we call Mike. Mike's like, I have a I have three rows in my Acura with his little lights. And I'll very interesting that now Neil has also an Acura with the little lights. Um it was a very nice ride. But again, it was a like he's showing off. Showing off. It was the well, like, I mean, he was really nice. Like he paid for all of our covers to go in that night. But it I don't know.

SPEAKER_05:

It was just He was trying to nice.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

It's fine if you're looking for that, but like if you're not looking for that, he needs to read the room.

SPEAKER_02:

I was 22 or 23, 22 at the time. And he was probably 24 or 25. So I'm like, Oh, that's icky.

SPEAKER_04:

And like it's not like it was he was very he was like, I'm have a paycheck now.

SPEAKER_02:

Correct. Correct. Yeah. It was very much about his ego and not like creating a vibe or being welcoming. And it just did not work out.

SPEAKER_05:

And that's so true. It's like if somebody has money and they're not like being showy, but they're really just wanting to like create a nice time for people. Right. It that shows. And it's like there's a total difference between the two of like somebody bragging and somebody being like, no, I want this good time to continue, and I want to make sure everyone's taken care of. Absolutely. Because I wish I was rich so I could take care of everything. But not in a bragging way. I just want to be like everyone enjoying themselves and like don't worry about a damn thing. Exactly. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

But yeah, that was my own.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, you read you like read them pretty quick. Yeah. The second date cooking thing was.

SPEAKER_02:

We had three dates, and then after that, it was like, okay.

SPEAKER_05:

How many did you make Neil cook on the second date?

SPEAKER_02:

We did.

SPEAKER_05:

What y'all cook?

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, wait. That means that you haven't read our magazine.

SPEAKER_05:

No, I have, but I don't remember.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, humble brag, honey.

SPEAKER_05:

No, I've read the zine. I've read it like three times, but I don't remember. Their wedding invitation was a magazine. And it's beautiful.

SPEAKER_03:

It was 40 pages. It was amazing.

SPEAKER_05:

I've read it. I did the quiz. Um there's a groom did you get? I remember I got I got like a music. Oh, you got the mix. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

So we did um cast iron pizzas.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

The recipes in the mag.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay. I need to make one.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

I have a square cast iron though. What? I have an uncle that is very passionate about square versus circle cast irons. And so I have a square cast iron.

SPEAKER_03:

It's really funny that all eyes are round. On your stove. Oh, I was like, on your stove. On your stove, guys.

SPEAKER_05:

No, exactly. But he's like, if you I think his he cuts cornbread in squares. Then you get a cornbread pan. That's called corn pound. Square pan? I don't know. We don't use it anymore because Jay's like, this is high-made. I swear. I love my pastime.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. But cast iron pizza's super delicious. Very easy. Very easy. You can literally bop up to Publix, go get their pre-made dough, and just do it.

unknown:

Aww.

SPEAKER_03:

It's super easy to make.

SPEAKER_05:

And y'all had good teamwork in the kitchen. No scratchy pants.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, I do believe Neil pulled out his Kitchenade mixer. No, I didn't help us with the pizza dough. No, I didn't. We made dough from scratch, though.

SPEAKER_03:

Not that night. Not that night. We made homemade dad that we late. I'm like, wow, I was really trying to get this one.

SPEAKER_05:

I love that. Okay, wait, you tell us something. You had a boyfriend for a minute or a bad dog.

SPEAKER_03:

I had to kiss a lot of frogs. Oh.

SPEAKER_05:

I mean, say.

SPEAKER_03:

To find my prince charming.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_03:

Um, wait, I already talked about my We talked about Cocky, but didn't you have another story? But I had a bad date.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, tell us.

SPEAKER_04:

Actually Cocky was not a bad date.

SPEAKER_05:

Cocky was a can we talk really, really fast? I know this is getting so long, but we know can we talk about how like Cocky truly is like the superior mascot? He really is. He's adorable. He's got a girlfriend, he's got parents.

SPEAKER_03:

I imagine he's got war.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. He's got 2001 behind him.

SPEAKER_05:

Yep, I love it.

SPEAKER_03:

So in college, conveniently enough, it was after Cocky in between whatever the two birds. I found a stone that I didn't leave unturned. I don't know. Wow, this wine is really good. It was only like$9.99 at public. Yes. It's a big line. No, I mean food line. Food line, sorry. I like it too. Um, so okay, what are we gonna name this guy? Brad. Scott. Scott Scott. All American. So I was like Scottish. Crying 21. I was like 21. It was the summer, and I had we had just finished our painting class, so our entire painting class went to um, what was that bar that always smelled like a bathroom in five points? No, the other one. It does smell like a spunky. No, it was like speakeasy, speakeasy.

SPEAKER_05:

No, they closed. Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

So we all went there and we were all hanging out at the end of the bar.

SPEAKER_04:

Was I there? This is not the same painting class. No, you weren't in my painting class.

SPEAKER_03:

And I noticed a guy at the end of the bar that I kind of knew because he had like helped our professor with something, and he sent me a shot at the end of the bar. I'm like, oh, okay, okay. So like I That does make you feel good.

SPEAKER_05:

Right, it does.

SPEAKER_03:

So I went over, I thanked him for the shot, whatever, we kind of chatted, left that night, and got an email on my school email.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_03:

And it was like, hey, Neil, I saw you tonight.

SPEAKER_05:

Um Wait, this feels stalkery. No. Is that your email?

SPEAKER_03:

Well, he wa he was like a TA at the time. Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay. I'm like Orlando.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. So he was like, hey, I saw you at the end of the bar. Um, I wanted to kind of ask for your number, but I didn't have the chops to do it. Okay. So he sent me an email.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

Alright. Usc.gov.gov. Yes, exactly. I'm like, okay, okay. So I ended up giving him my number via email. We texted, we decided we were gonna go to sushi. Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

Where though? Because I need to know where people are eating. In Akaya?

SPEAKER_03:

No, we went to tsunami downtown. Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

That kind of hit.

SPEAKER_03:

It literally just opened, so it was like shitty.

SPEAKER_05:

Yes, it's still there. What year was this? I only ever go there. I've only ever gone there. That was like the go in college.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, yeah. Yeah. So we go for sushi, we're hanging out, we're catching vibes. Um, and at the time I was in school to be an art teacher, and he was a TA for 3D art, and then he goes on this whole tangent about people that are going to school to be art teachers aren't actually like real artists.

SPEAKER_05:

Did he know that's what you're going to school for? Yes, he did.

SPEAKER_03:

And I was just like, Okay, okay. But I will say, leading up to this point, the man was like a total gentleman. Even after that point, he was a total. He walked me to my car, he like gave me a kiss goodbye. But then it was after the kiss that he looks at me and he goes, Yeah, I don't think this is gonna work.

SPEAKER_04:

You're like, yeah, it's not.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm like literally still leaning on on my car thinking, like, wow, this is kind of like fun. Oh my god. What in the hell?

SPEAKER_05:

Wait, did he say why?

SPEAKER_03:

I think it was because I was studying to be an art teacher.

SPEAKER_05:

What a dick. I know. And you know what?

SPEAKER_03:

There have been several times since this moment that I have tried to find this man on social media because I'm like, is he as cute as like I remember him in my memory? I cannot find him. I cannot find him.

SPEAKER_05:

We will find him.

SPEAKER_03:

His last name.

SPEAKER_05:

You know why? He's probably not an artist.

SPEAKER_03:

He's probably not.

SPEAKER_04:

He's probably teaching.

SPEAKER_03:

Which is funny because he was a TA.

SPEAKER_04:

I know.

SPEAKER_03:

But he was a 3D art he was a 3D sculpture artist or whatever, and actually made some of the pieces that are on the campus of McMaster.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, we can find him. We probably can. We'll find him. If anything, we can look on like the USC past directories. I hate that he said that. What a big thing.

SPEAKER_02:

If Nicole can find somebody with a partial license plate, I'm sure we can find Scott.

SPEAKER_03:

We should find him. He was from up north. It never would have worked. Because I was like 21 and he was like 28 or 29.

unknown:

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

He was already balding. That's less of an age gap than we have. But I still have all my hair.

SPEAKER_05:

Wait, how old are you? He's like a year younger than me, right? When were you born?

SPEAKER_02:

95.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, you're two years. Well, no, I'm end of 93. So we're like we're like we're the same year.

SPEAKER_03:

Right, 90.

SPEAKER_05:

And you're October of 95.

SPEAKER_03:

He just turned 30, and I am about to turn 36.

SPEAKER_05:

That's not bad. Yeah, not bad.

SPEAKER_03:

It's actually a nice little age gap.

SPEAKER_05:

It is.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Yeah. It is. It's enough that I get to learn a lot about the 90s.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03:

You were born in the 90s. Barely. You were born before 9-11.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh my god, Sneal, don't get on. I can't believe we haven't talked about 9-11 yet.

SPEAKER_03:

I love 9-11. I just love the memes. I love the memes. I know.

SPEAKER_04:

That's gonna be the title.

SPEAKER_01:

Like I know a lot of people.

SPEAKER_05:

You're getting it from Neil. I just It's kind of like people obsessed with the Titanic.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh my god. I'm also interesting.

SPEAKER_05:

It is.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh my god, wait a second. Wait a second. We were talking about like personalities earlier, those target birds. As personalities. Is that my personality, 9-11 and Titanic?

SPEAKER_05:

The Target birds. At least I'm into history. Okay, can we talk really fast? Okay, I know.

SPEAKER_02:

We've gotta add Southern Living into the.

SPEAKER_05:

Neil comes into our house. He sees the Target birds on our board.

SPEAKER_03:

You know the Target birds.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, they're gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_05:

But they come out with every season. They're jumped.

SPEAKER_03:

The really cute ones with all the little oh they have two.

SPEAKER_05:

Are they target bird like? I am not.

SPEAKER_03:

They have two of them, and I was like, are these I was like, are these the only two that you have? And she goes, Yes, why? And I'm do you not like them? And I was like, and she goes, Jay bought them. Jay is so quick to throw him under the bus.

SPEAKER_05:

Wait, wait, wait. Does he know about the Target Bird thing? No. No. He saw them in Target with Sim. I think he's safe. I think he's safe. Jay is kind of safe from anything that is online. He's precious. He knows nothing about what's going on. But also online. Okay, are people talking about this online?

SPEAKER_03:

The birds? Yeah. Do you have them?

SPEAKER_04:

No. But I I will say I have a bat I have a a doormat with them on it. But that's it.

SPEAKER_03:

I think the people that have multiple of these birds.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay, but Neil's first question was oh, you have the Target birds. Do you have more? I said no. Jay bought them. Are people col I guess Yes, people do collect them.

SPEAKER_03:

And they come out every season.

SPEAKER_05:

Yes, yes. Every holiday.

SPEAKER_03:

Right, and they all have different personalities. And do you know what I think these people are doing? They're self-medicating by buying these birds.

SPEAKER_04:

A thousand percent.

SPEAKER_05:

It's like the mugs that are like blessed with like the tall, super tall skin. Ray, Ray Dun, Ray Dunn.

SPEAKER_03:

Ray done it again.

SPEAKER_05:

Ray done it again. Also, that it's kind of like it's also if you take, say that like the person buying the birds doesn't take their medication for like three months. They end up with a baby doll.

unknown:

What?

SPEAKER_05:

That they are reborn. Oh.

SPEAKER_02:

No! Part two. We need to have a part two. This is gonna have to be a part two.

SPEAKER_05:

But they have a reborn doll.

SPEAKER_03:

Everybody, listen, I love that everybody has a personality, but I you know what I don't love? Is it it's somebody it's when people make things their personality. And you too. Do you know what my least fa or my least favorite thing is? It's Jeep people.

SPEAKER_04:

And the duck.

SPEAKER_03:

And you know what? I I literally went on like a little mini vacation this past week, and I feel like every time I saw a Jeep, and it was like the more ducks they had, the less personality they have. Like, they need the ducks to be their personality. No, I haven't met I I haven't talked to these assholes.

SPEAKER_04:

My curl, my one of my kids asked me recently, like, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03:

If any of the listeners out here have ducks, get rid of them.

SPEAKER_04:

One of my girls asked me recently, like, what is the deal with ducks? What is the deal?

SPEAKER_05:

He told me he wants me to have a Jeep because he's into the ducks, and I'm like, Bubba, you don't get You can buy rubber duckies any damn day. Because you're six.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. Rubber duckies. But it's only a certain type of Jeep. It's like the Jeep Wrangler or something. Whatever.

SPEAKER_04:

I saw one in a Cherokee the other day. And I said, uh uh. You're not gonna play this game.

SPEAKER_03:

There's not many things that when I just look at it, it just pisses me off. And I just want to light that shit on fire.

SPEAKER_02:

The only thing I hate more than the ducks is the little stickers with the two fingers. Oh my gosh. I think that's even more interesting.

SPEAKER_03:

No, do you actually fingers?

SPEAKER_02:

The Jeep, it's the hand sign as you drive by, you just you pick up your when you're in the middle finger.

SPEAKER_03:

They have no personality.

SPEAKER_02:

And now the bar is their personality. And to me, that's trashy.

SPEAKER_05:

I also got to know what else is trashy. Wait, the pause. I need to say what I think about the ducks.

SPEAKER_04:

And then we can move on. I have thought, I've never voiced this. I'm really happy we're doing this. I hate them, but I think, you know what? I'm never gonna be part of that group. So you guys have your fun. Yeah. If this is making you guys happy, wow.

SPEAKER_05:

I feel similarly because it's not.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't feel that way at all.

SPEAKER_05:

Anytime I see it, I'm like, this is not for me. I feel that way about a lot of things.

SPEAKER_04:

That's interesting. I'm not interested in that.

SPEAKER_05:

I'm not interested, or not my flavor. I say not my flavor about so many things. The ducks and the jeeps. The jeeps aren't my flavor either.

SPEAKER_03:

I love that these people are spending$60,000 or more to have a personality.

SPEAKER_04:

That's how much Jeeps are? I don't know. I'm just taking a ballpark.

SPEAKER_03:

They're not that much. They're actually probably less, so then that way they can afford the fucking ducks. Okay. Do you know what else pisses me off?

SPEAKER_00:

What? Wait, Carolyn had a lot of things.

SPEAKER_03:

And it's a reading problem for me.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

It's a marketing issue. It's a graphic design problem, I do believe.

SPEAKER_05:

So many of those.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

I know exactly what you're gonna say.

SPEAKER_03:

The salt life.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh my god, I have a confession.

SPEAKER_03:

Every time I receive those, I just see SLAT Life.

unknown:

I had one of those stickers.

SPEAKER_04:

It gets worse.

SPEAKER_03:

Honda Element. Honda Element! I was always so jealous that you had a Honda Element. I always wanted one because I love the way that the back doors opened.

SPEAKER_05:

Even if the seats like all the baby.

SPEAKER_03:

Because she was into that slut- I mean slut life.

SPEAKER_04:

Everyone Keith used to call it my slut life sticker because it was like that. It looked so ugly. Slut life. It's so ugly. I loved my Honda Element. I rhyme for Honda Elements.

SPEAKER_03:

I rhyme for 9-11.

SPEAKER_00:

We made it.

SPEAKER_03:

If I had a twin, people would be calling us the towers, baby. Oh my god. I'm just kidding. We should probably cut that out.

SPEAKER_04:

No, it's okay. Okay, but. We're two hours in at this point.

SPEAKER_03:

No towers were harmed in the filming of this episode.

unknown:

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay, but things that piss us off. I feel like there are more of these. A sticker, you said. Oh, that's just like a simple thing. I think it pisses everyone off unless you're like really trying to. What person has that stick figure? Y'all know what I'm talking about. Like the sticker where it's like a stick figure and it's like Fing the word it. It's supposed to be like F it.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh.

SPEAKER_05:

But it's like the word it.

SPEAKER_03:

What about the stick figures that are always on the back of a PT cruiser?

SPEAKER_05:

And it's like PT cruisers don't exist anymore.

SPEAKER_03:

I just saw one the other day and they had like nine people on the back of it.

SPEAKER_02:

The thing that was odd about it was that they were all adult people. I was like, I think it was a polycaravan.

SPEAKER_03:

PT polyamorous.

SPEAKER_04:

Transit. Polytransit. Polytransit. It's about to be like the poly cruiser.

SPEAKER_05:

The polytransit cruiser.

SPEAKER_03:

Girl, if you got that many people on the back of your damn PT cruiser, get a fucking U-Haul. Call the lesbians. Beep, beep, beep down. Get you your discount.

SPEAKER_05:

I had something else that I hated and I can't think about what it was, but I will say, Neil and I, are you in the Reborn Babes group?

SPEAKER_03:

No. Oh, the Reborn Babes. Oh gosh, I forgot we started on that.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay, so we Neil and I are in a group on like a group chat on TikTok called Reborn Babes. And we just send each other videos. And it's with a couple other people. We send each other videos of people with reborn babies.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't know how they started coming up on my page. And I I really don't know how this has become a lifestyle for people, but you know what?

SPEAKER_05:

Uh the one that the one the recent one where the woman is going through her like entire morning routine where she's getting all of her babies up for the day. There's a teenager. How much does it weigh? I don't know, but it's really disturbing.

SPEAKER_03:

They're like, they're not they're not anatomically correct, but they're like they're weighted. Weighted.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay, if you don't know what a reborn baby is, it's a handmade baby doll that like looks really A lot of people get them like as babies or like young.

SPEAKER_03:

Supposed to be a therapeutic.

SPEAKER_05:

Or I was gonna say, or like in an in a nursing home, like when you have dementia and you want to care for a baby, that is totally okay. Right, right. But like when it's just like your hobby and you're like filming content of you taking care of these like fake babies, it's not my flavor.

SPEAKER_02:

When you're try when you're dressing up as your favorite Disney character for their birthday parties.

SPEAKER_05:

Yes. Okay, I think that's a good thing. But the recent one I showed it to Jay. I showed it to Jay this morning and said, Jay, this is stressing me out. I showed it to him and he said, damn it, Caroline, don't ever show me shit like that ever again. Like he was pissed off. What was the content? They were like, She was like waking up her babies in the morning.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_05:

And she was doing voices for them. Oh, yeah. Like she was like, wake up, and then she did like the teenager being like, Ugh, I don't want to get up, mom. Like it was really.

SPEAKER_03:

Are you talking about the cosplay girl?

SPEAKER_05:

I don't know, but she's got cribs all over her house for babies.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I think we're talking about the different one, but she just discovered like AI voices or whatever.

SPEAKER_05:

She's getting into it.

SPEAKER_03:

She's like really getting into it.

SPEAKER_05:

Wait, there's something.

SPEAKER_03:

She's not like, How are you doing, Jessica? And it's just like Jessica's like leaned up next to a black.

SPEAKER_05:

Jessica's broken. Yeah, she's all the damn time.

SPEAKER_03:

Because she took her swimming. My girl is duct taped together. Y'all know way too much about this. Okay, but there's a- I took my duct tape daughter to Disney World.

SPEAKER_04:

Your views are paying for these reborns. I know all the time. I know Jessica fixed.

SPEAKER_05:

And she needs a new one. Jessica is not.

SPEAKER_03:

And they they are they are in they are influencers, okay? And they are influencing me to watch a minute of their videos to be able to get paid by the industry.

SPEAKER_05:

Typically. But I will say, reborn babes is equal to, in my opinion, hobby horsing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Wait, what is hobby horsing?

SPEAKER_05:

The people that ride fake horses. They like ride sticks.

SPEAKER_03:

The stick with the horse head on top.

SPEAKER_05:

And I just saw typically like 20 and under. No, but I just saw old Germans. Lots of Germans.

SPEAKER_02:

Is there a crossover between this and like people that play Quidditch?

SPEAKER_04:

There should be.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh my gosh, do you remember that guy that sat in our drawing class next to us that was on the Quidditch team for USC?

SPEAKER_04:

No. He was who was it?

SPEAKER_03:

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04:

Damn. I wonder how he's doing.

SPEAKER_03:

But I remember the first day of class, it was like, tell us something interesting about yourself. And he was just like, I don't remember this. I'm the s the snitch snitcher? The seeker? The seeker. Seeker. He's like, I'm the seeker on the Quidditch team for USC. And I'm just like, lame! It's probably a good thing I didn't become an art teacher because I would have just No, okay.

SPEAKER_05:

Those kids would have had a better life because somehow, somehow though, that seems more okay to me than like That's because you're a fangirl if you're not gonna be a fan of the game. No, but like I would never play Quidditch. Like that's weird. You can't fly. Why are you doing this? But like I recently hobby dogging.

SPEAKER_04:

What is hobby dogging?

SPEAKER_05:

They're doing like Quidditch.

SPEAKER_02:

They're doing like Jay's walking down the steps announcing he would play Quidditch.

SPEAKER_03:

The people that play Quidditch are just a bunch of virgins with brooms between their legs. Let's be real.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. They're probably sexually active. They're kinky. It's drama kids. And drama. They're all having sex with each other.

SPEAKER_03:

Drama kids are kinky. But there's also Bacney, right?

SPEAKER_05:

Lots of Bacney. Lots of Bakne.

SPEAKER_04:

Even if it's a big diagram, like hobby horse, Quidditch, Dramakid. Reborn, Reborn. Reborn. I don't know. Reborn. I'm not ready to deal with reborn.

SPEAKER_03:

Which one who okay? Who progresses in this situation to being a reborn? How do you evolve with these?

SPEAKER_04:

Hobby horses.

SPEAKER_03:

Huh? Hobby horsers.

SPEAKER_04:

Wait, wait wait, what do you mean?

SPEAKER_03:

Like, what do you start? Do you like do Quidditch people? Well, no, that's probably.

SPEAKER_05:

No, I think Quidditch people probably progress to hobby horsing.

SPEAKER_03:

Because they have a stick between their legs. So who evolves into a reborn girl? I see baby doll girl that never grew up. I just but then why not just have a bunch of glass cases with baby dollars?

SPEAKER_05:

I was gonna say the reborn stuff is typically trauma, which makes me feel bad for talking about it, but I'm also like there are resources and therapy.

SPEAKER_03:

We are talking about the people that are not using it for like a therapeutic stuff.

SPEAKER_05:

No, but I think even so I think it's still stense. It's still a you're filling a hole that hasn't been.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, this one girl I follow, she just got a really bad haircut.

SPEAKER_05:

Are you saying that she has trauma?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, because she got banged. She got bowl cut. She got a bowl cut and banged.

SPEAKER_05:

Not the reborn baby. The haircut.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, well, I'm sorry, I did it. Spliced out. Sorry. Sorry, listeners.

SPEAKER_05:

Bullcut. That's like um on pin 15. Maya's haircut.

SPEAKER_03:

She is begging for attention.

SPEAKER_05:

You think?

SPEAKER_03:

She has a duct tape dolly. Oh, yeah. That she's pushing in a swing.

SPEAKER_05:

She's the one that.

SPEAKER_03:

And in between her showing her reborn dolls, she's dressing up as God knows who. Last time I scrolled through a page, she dressed up as Dorothy and she was singing some shitty off Broadway somewhere over the rainbow.

SPEAKER_05:

Wait, but have y'all seen the pole dancer? I was just about to bring her up. She's a reborn mom? No, she's not. No, no, no. She's just a pole dancer. But she dresses up like Disney characters, which I'm like, Rapunzel does not pole dance, boo-boo. Like that's okay. Imagination is a thing. And also, like, okay, so that's not the issue I have with it.

SPEAKER_04:

I have a lot of other issues with it.

SPEAKER_05:

It's the bad point. Oh, she also talks about her family trauma. Like, she'll do text about her family trauma over her pole dancing videos.

SPEAKER_04:

You know, my biggest issue with it is the song is playing so quietly in the background. It's like on a bow speaker in the corner of the room, and she sings along to it. Look at this stuff. Like she's like twirling and the poles like shaking. It's like the pole is hanging on for dear life.

SPEAKER_05:

It's like a lot of skidding. Skidding. There's lots of skitting.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh no.

SPEAKER_04:

It's so.

SPEAKER_03:

Meredith was also the person that introduced me to the um uh Oops, I did it again music video without any music, and it's just her like leather.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh my god. Yeah, and her sneaker and sneaker the That is what this pole dancing video is like. Oh wait, wait, wait. Send me the link. Can we talk really fast?

SPEAKER_03:

This just reminded me of We've been talking really fast all night, and then this is two hours in Portland.

SPEAKER_05:

I have an idea that we're just gonna break this up into two weeks, which will save Meredith and I some producing stuff. So this is great. So we're this. This is great. We've got two episodes right here. So the people that are on this on week two, welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.

SPEAKER_03:

Hi it's still uh we're actually still here. We've never left.

SPEAKER_05:

It's been a week.

SPEAKER_03:

But also, if we're gonna listen to this episode, I recommend going ahead and just drinking a bottle of wine and then turning the bigger one. We started the last one with the cheers.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, I think people have already seen the progression.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Bells will be rigged, sad.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay, but I was gonna say, when we were at your house for the Thanksgiving, that wasn't Thanksgiving dinner.

SPEAKER_03:

That turned into the Clurb.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, turned into the Clurb. The thing that turned it into the Clurb was you said you put on Lady Gaga's halftime Super Bowl halftime performance where she died. Here's the thing and that turned it.

SPEAKER_03:

Here's the thing.

SPEAKER_05:

And the lighting, and the lighting. And the lighting and the wigs.

SPEAKER_03:

And then the random gay men showing up to her house. Right, the four gay men that showed up. I know. I'm glad I prefaced that, like, hey, don't bring this up.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Anyways. Um yeah. Love Super Bowl performances. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay, can we talk about who what your all-time favorite is?

SPEAKER_03:

My all-time favorite.

SPEAKER_05:

The boo. Oh, the boo is your favorite.

SPEAKER_03:

It might be a little comfortable. It might be a little cost.

SPEAKER_04:

Keith recently was like, she didn't know. I was like, Keith, she knew. She had a pasty on. Yeah, she knew. And he said, maybe she was just wearing that. No. I was like, it coordinated with her outfit. She was not just wearing a freaking such a straight man. I know.

SPEAKER_03:

Such a straight man.

SPEAKER_04:

No, she knew. She knew.

SPEAKER_03:

No, I love um J-Lo and Shakira. I think that's one of my favorite.

SPEAKER_05:

I was gonna say J-Lo and Shakira. I love that. But unfortunately, we watched it with a bad group.

SPEAKER_03:

Mm-hmm. Oh. You gotta watch Super Bowl with people that are there for the halftime show. Right.

SPEAKER_04:

And our group was just hyper religious, and we're like, we're not watching this. It's sexual.

SPEAKER_05:

They left the room. They left the room. And I was like, talk about a vibe killer. You know? I'm like, just pretend. Like, you're not gonna go to hell for watching this halftime show. Just like chill so I can enjoy this. Because you're ruining the vibe. I know.

SPEAKER_03:

Lady Gaga's is great.

SPEAKER_05:

Lady Gaga's was great. I loved it. I also really liked um the one that was like was it la who was last year?

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, I don't know, but I will tell you that.

SPEAKER_05:

The houses that were everywhere. Over the weekend?

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, I didn't know that many stopped listening to him. Men they not like us. Men did not perform. Oh, they don't like us. Kendrick Lamar. Oh he was good. He did pretty good.

SPEAKER_05:

I loved that one. Yes, that was good.

SPEAKER_03:

But like statistically, men don't do as well.

SPEAKER_05:

But I do believe Bad Bunny's gonna kill it. I especially with all the controversy around it. I think he's thinking he is going to bling it. And that's my cousin. That's my hot cousin. That's our cousin. That's our cousin. By marriage.

SPEAKER_03:

By marriage. So we can fuck him. I mean, think he's hot.

SPEAKER_04:

You know, Bad Bunny is one of those people that like really surprised me. Oh, I love Bad Bunny. I feel like I don't, I still don't listen. I've never listened to his music, but he he him on SNL. Oh, he's fabulous. He like one. He's fabulous. No, he is. No, I know he is.

SPEAKER_05:

Like he just like the way he addresses everything is just like so yeah. He's so funny.

SPEAKER_03:

He's like professional and sexy at the same time.

SPEAKER_05:

And and the way that he like has addressed all the controversy. I don't know anything about this.

SPEAKER_04:

I literally only know him from SNL. Sorry, I only made fun of you for saying fabulous because you're holding a glass of wine and we were talking about the dinner table, and I you sounded like like an aunt talking at that bunny. Oh my god, he's fabulous.

SPEAKER_05:

I'm Martha Stewart. He's fabulous. Everybody eat the pie. I don't want to bring home any leftovers.

SPEAKER_03:

I made 86. Eat up, bitches.

SPEAKER_05:

I love that we never circled back to Paula Deen. Oh, yeah. Or like, she's the racist and that everyone's like, oh shit. She's gonna say some shit.

SPEAKER_03:

She's coming this year.

SPEAKER_05:

She's gonna say some shit.

SPEAKER_03:

And everyone's like, We only invite her because she makes the best deviled eggs and all the time. She's gonna make my tongue.

SPEAKER_04:

Do you know who she hates at the table? Amanda Bynes.

SPEAKER_05:

And Bad Bunny. And Bad Bunny. And her. She's like, Amanda Bynes is trash. Her mac and cheese is gonna make all of us shit our pants. Yes. It's filled with butter. Two sticks of butter.

SPEAKER_04:

Our family, like, often quotes this one YouTube cut of her show with this like random guest where they're someone slowed it down. So they sound like they're on Qua Lut. And they're like, where they're eating a bur a donut burger. It's like a triple decker burger between two glazed donuts, and they're like, oh. We're we're gonna get arrested. It's like so but us and our mom, quote, and Keith. All the time.

SPEAKER_05:

We're gonna get arrested. Can we talk about Quaaludes? How that was like a whole moment in time, and now they like who are they gone? Did they disappear? Okay, I want to talk about ketamine.

SPEAKER_03:

Because it comes up, I feel like it's like very much.

SPEAKER_04:

Ketamine is healing. This is coming from a 35-year-old person in Columbia, South Carolina who has two kids and does not go out. Isn't it a horse drink relationship? No, listen, y'all. I hear it come up in pop culture all the time. Like it's like the drug that people are doing. No, no, it's it's recreational. I'm like, how are we doing? No, it's recreational. Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

Like, how are people doing this recreational? I can barely get my hands on Sky Rizzy.

SPEAKER_04:

So I don't think people in Columbia are doing it, but like, I mean, I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_03:

Give it five years. I know, but we just got our park renovated.

SPEAKER_05:

True. But like, I'm just And it has a clear boundary. I need to talk to someone. Like, I listened to a podcast where there was Like I was on Ket at this wedding. Ket at the wedding?

SPEAKER_04:

Yes. Like I was in the King.

SPEAKER_02:

It's a specific circle that's using ketamine. And to me, when I think of ketamine users, I think of like spoiler room, circuit twinks. Circuit twinks. Wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_05:

What are these terms? Explain boiler room and circuit twinks. Like um underground rave party. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. I didn't know why circuit twinks.

SPEAKER_03:

Because they go to all the raves and they're a twink.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

Do you know what a twink is?

SPEAKER_05:

Yes, yes. So, okay, that's the vibe.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, I I just I'm like, it seems people are doing it for intense therapy, and people are also doing it in the clerb, and I don't understand how those two things how one thing is two things. How does it make you feel? I looked it up. I think it's it's like deeply. I forgot, but it's it's not something I want to take in the colour. Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay, but can we talk about something? It's like slightly halus hallucinatory. How do y'all feel? Did y'all watch Nine Perfect Strangers?

SPEAKER_02:

Ludgy feeling where it's like it's detachment.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. It's like you take it so you can get a dive into trauma and therapy. Well, I know that's what I'm saying. I was gonna say, have y'all watched Nine Perfect Strangers? And would y'all ever go to that kind of retreat? Because I feel like I feel like I need anything to do with that.

SPEAKER_02:

Um, what's her name? Like that wig?

SPEAKER_05:

Nicole Kidman. Nicole Kidman.

SPEAKER_02:

I saw her face and her wig, and I was like, I don't know if I can see it. No, it's a good show.

SPEAKER_05:

It's a good show. And I I honestly. She's like the least annoying at like in recent things she's done, she's the least annoying in that.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh. I have a theory about Nicole Kidman. Okay, tell us. Nicole Kidman, I feel like, is always in like these kind of crazy roles. Yes, with wigs. Right. And they're always bad wigs.

SPEAKER_04:

What's with the wigs?

SPEAKER_03:

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04:

I always think her hair looks like a lot of things.

SPEAKER_03:

But you know what I think? I think I think she's just like pitched these roles and she's like, yeah, I I think I want to get away from Keith. You know, Keith Urban. And now they're getting a divorce, and I feel like Oh, they're getting a divorce.

SPEAKER_05:

I know. Yes. Newsflash. I didn't know. Newsflash. You had a beer verse, right?

SPEAKER_03:

For the last couple weeks. Uh like like a month ago.

SPEAKER_05:

This is not in my algorithm.

SPEAKER_03:

It was barely in my algorithm. Well, it was confirmation for mine.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Because I'm like, she's just taking like, what was the perfect couple? Oh, I didn't know.

SPEAKER_05:

I did two, but like, you didn't like it. I liked it and it ended and I said, okay. Here we go.

SPEAKER_03:

We're not talking about TV anymore.

SPEAKER_05:

I know, I know.

SPEAKER_03:

Y'all talk about this enough in your podcast. Or do they have the contributory?

SPEAKER_05:

All of season two has been about TV. Thank you for being in here.

SPEAKER_03:

That's why we were asking about movies.

SPEAKER_05:

Thank y'all.

SPEAKER_03:

The big screen. The big screen.

SPEAKER_05:

Film, if you will.

SPEAKER_03:

Silver screen.

SPEAKER_05:

Which we just downloaded an app called Letterboxd. Letterboxed. Letterboxed apostrophe duh. And you rate films. It's like good reads for movies. Yeah. It's very fun. It's very fun. You follow people. Yeah. I've been doing lots of reviews. I don't do reviews on restaurants, but I've been doing movie reviews. I reviewed the new Jonas Brothers Christmas movie. I just watched it. Bad. A little bit like bad. What I expected. I didn't expect more. Did you? Mm-hmm. And I think that was a me problem. Yeah, that was a me you problem. I was exactly I watched it halfway as I was scrolling my phone. It was boring. And I thought this is exactly what they it needed to be.

SPEAKER_02:

I literally I watched like five minutes of it and I paused and I told I literally texted Neil and I was like, hey, pre-screen the Joe Bros. I think you're gonna enjoy it. I was like, I think this is really funny. I think they're like poking fun at themselves.

SPEAKER_05:

It's a lot of poking fun at themselves, but it's also there's a whole hour that's boring.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh.

SPEAKER_05:

Like, I don't know. Anyway, and they like talked about how they've been wanting to do a Christmas movie for 10 years. And I'm like, That's what they do over the past ten years, this is what you've come up with.

SPEAKER_04:

My bar is so low for Christmas movies.

SPEAKER_05:

That's true. Camp Rock 3 is going to be a fucking hit. We are going to have a viewing party.

SPEAKER_02:

We need to do a viewing party.

SPEAKER_05:

We would have a sister shit viewing party. But I think you can adjust your extra. No, no, no. Like it's going to hit in a horrible way. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And they believe she's back to she her pronouns.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay. Oh, yeah. Okay, have we talked about Demi? We've talked about Demi.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. You did in your Camp Rock.

SPEAKER_05:

And we talked about her recently because her We talked about her recently because her um what do you call it? Documentary. One of three. There's like three separate. Horrible. Yeah. And she's in this. And I'm like, I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. And it's like they're the counselors. Love it. And there's new kids. I do kind of love that the Joda Bros are back on Disney Channel. Me too. And Frankie, I don't think it's in this, but Frankie was in a little bit of the Christmas movie.

SPEAKER_02:

Is that Dancing Girl gonna be back?

SPEAKER_05:

I doubt. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03:

She's really just Nessa's in a wheelchair, huh? Not Nessa.

SPEAKER_05:

What's her name?

SPEAKER_04:

Alison Stoner.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. She's what is she up to?

SPEAKER_05:

Nair's got opinions on her. I listened to her documentary. I listened to her podcast about child stars.

SPEAKER_04:

And she's doing a lot of she's honestly very proactive in getting new laws, ref like reforming the laws for child stars.

SPEAKER_05:

Which that's cool. Yeah, she's doing great. I don't think she'd be interested in camp rock. They're not interested. They're not interested in camp rock. They're doing other things.

SPEAKER_03:

So turning the conversation, we've talked about the past. Probably last episode now because we're cutting.

SPEAKER_05:

Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

We've talked about the present. What is everybody looking forward to this holiday season? Yes.

SPEAKER_05:

I also have a question for the video.

SPEAKER_03:

Is anybody hosting? Is anybody doing any fun things?

SPEAKER_05:

We're hosting my mom and dad for Christmas Eve. Y'all are hosting our Christmas holiday cocktail club.

SPEAKER_04:

Don't let everybody know about it. I'm gonna wear a fancy dress.

SPEAKER_03:

You should have a few.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, can we make it like kind of fancy? Of course.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, that's why it says holiday attire encouraged.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay. I'm hosting my mom and dad, and I always make a whole fish on Christmas Eve. Because why? There's nothing like a whole fish. That's what they say. That's what they say. AKA, that's what we say.

unknown:

Good to go.

SPEAKER_05:

There's nothing like a whole fish. How are you preparing this? Oh shit.

SPEAKER_03:

Like the entire fish. You go to whole fish. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_05:

You say I would like a whole fish, I want it deboned. You get it at home, you put herbs in it. And you rope and lemon. You rope that bit. And then you tie it. Headless. It's like a little king. You leave the head on either. It wouldn't be around.

SPEAKER_04:

How do they remove the bones? They can debone the body and leave the head.

SPEAKER_05:

But because you're not going to eat the head. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

I know. It's just couple of pieces.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. No, but that's that's the thing, Neil. It's like there's nothing like a whole fish with the head on. You want the look at you while you're eating it. It's a beautiful display.

SPEAKER_04:

I kind of want to see this.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

It's beautiful.

SPEAKER_04:

Last year I did like a Persian version. I think I'll go back to like a classic.

SPEAKER_05:

I made a Persian veggie to go with it. Yeah. It was good. We had a great we did like a Persian Christmassy. So my mom and dad are having our coming. And and then yeah, before that I'm hosting your birthday party. Caroline's turning. It's Sag season 32, bitch. Don't add a. Wait, are you guys hosting?

SPEAKER_03:

We are hosting Christmas this year.

SPEAKER_05:

Who's coming?

SPEAKER_03:

Um, my parents and aunt and uncle.

SPEAKER_05:

What are y'all making?

SPEAKER_04:

What are y'all cooking?

SPEAKER_05:

I don't know yet.

SPEAKER_03:

We normally do like a little brunch-lunch situation.

SPEAKER_05:

Okay. Christmas Day. What's y'all's favorite like holiday tradition?

SPEAKER_02:

Taking Christmas down. No. Yeah, you don't like it. I love the feeling of our home feeling like a minimalist dream after we get rid of everything.

SPEAKER_05:

I relate to that too.

SPEAKER_03:

So today I will say that we did go around the house. So we have um ten decorated trees.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh my god, no wonder you're ready for it to take this. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_03:

Keep keep wait.

SPEAKER_05:

So there's How many square feet is your house?

SPEAKER_03:

So there's five that are like over five feet.

SPEAKER_04:

That's so many trees.

SPEAKER_03:

And then there's like five that are under five feet, right? But then Luis was like, I wonder how many Christmas trees we actually have, like, in the house.

SPEAKER_02:

Because we have a collection of like ceramics. Ceramic and like paper trees.

SPEAKER_03:

And like this, that, and the other.

SPEAKER_05:

I cannot wait for a cocktail club.

SPEAKER_02:

Wait, we can't explode it till after because we want to ask people to get it. Yeah, don't tell us.

SPEAKER_05:

Wait, should we do our guess now? I'm gonna guess we can bleep it. 49. 49? Is that including like photos? That's including every Christmas tree. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03:

You have to think about that there are spoon rests and 74.

SPEAKER_05:

74.

SPEAKER_03:

Does that include the decorated trees?

SPEAKER_05:

Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

74. Okay, remember that. This is like every tree in every form.

SPEAKER_04:

Correct. 10. No. 90. No.

unknown:

I guess.

SPEAKER_03:

79. It'll be revealed at Cocktail Club.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, that's now I understand your need for minimalism.

SPEAKER_03:

Right, because we go from literally every inch being filled, but I love it.

SPEAKER_05:

It's fun for the season. It really is. It's like, and that's why we do it for a month. Because you can't live surrounded by it.

SPEAKER_03:

I wait until after New Year's.

SPEAKER_05:

We do too. Yeah, we wait for for the I do this Saturday or Sunday after Thanksgiving. And then I do.

SPEAKER_03:

This year I did actually the week before Thanksgiving because I kind of want to do that. Because it was so late. And I mean, putting up 10 fully decorated trees.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, you've got more decorations than me. Can we talk about the elf? Oh you never shared your elf story. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_04:

I've resisted the elf for so long. We now have an elf. The elf came earlier than it ever has. Normally we wait until after cr after school gets out. I the elf came early. Yesterday I said, listen, Keith, let's embrace the magic. We have one more kid that still believes in Santa for Lord knows who how long. We're embracing it. Today my oldest kid who no longer believes in the elf is now moving the elf constantly. So the elf is moving all over the house anytime the other child is the same. It's like her thing, right now.

SPEAKER_05:

She's telling me about it.

SPEAKER_04:

Love it. She's in on it. She loves it. She moves In on the elf or in on all of it.

SPEAKER_05:

In on all of it. All of it.

SPEAKER_04:

So she believes. Anyway, so she moved the elf to the coffee table. Kit tells me, Kit's my youngest, she tells me, um, the elf moved the coffee table. I thought I said, oh my gosh, I did. I thought nothing of it. Then, next thing I know, she's pouring tears. The dog, we have a nine-month-old puppy.

SPEAKER_05:

The puppy chewed the elf. Which, like, duh, that shit's gonna happen. Puppies chew everything else. Only on, like, got her eyebrow and her little hat.

SPEAKER_04:

Which I have to go home right now and sew because she's has she's supposed to go back to the North Pole and get repaired tonight. You should have brought her. I should have brought her here.

SPEAKER_05:

You could also, though, like, not have her show up tomorrow and have her, like, send a letter and be like, Kit, I'm doing great.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, but listen, this is what the girls can make her get well.

SPEAKER_05:

Yes, yes, great ideas. That could give you like four days. Yes.

unknown:

Yes.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay, this is what Kit said. Yo, Kit cried. Kit cried for no less than 30 minutes. She's just torn up about the elf.

SPEAKER_05:

I said, I to the point where I'm like, Kit, we gotta move on. I say, go take a shower. I always tell someone. Anytime he's losing it, I say, go reshoot. She's on the couch, she's crying. I said, Kit, it's okay.

SPEAKER_04:

Wrap it up. We gotta, we gotta move on. Then she comes to my room, she's in my bed. Y'all, it was so sad. She's crying, she's crying in my bed. She said, I just feel like Sparkles has had the worst day today. Oh, Katie, I know. I said, Kit. Y'all. I was like, Kit, they're trained for this. Marines! I was like, they know what they're getting into.

SPEAKER_02:

Like, they, they know they're gonna They're the special forces of the North Pole.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03:

I've seen the Santa Claus. I know.

SPEAKER_04:

I was like, for Christmas. I said, Kit, she like, listen, she's not going any. Well, she oh my gosh, oh my gosh, first she touched her. Before the dog got her, she touched her. So she was already crying that the magic was gone. Does she think that?

SPEAKER_02:

I hope she doesn't feel that she's the reason why she went into this accident.

SPEAKER_04:

No, she got into this accident. Well, I think she was she was just uh she's an Aries. She's she's an Aries, lots of feelings.

SPEAKER_05:

Big feelings, big feelings. I'm an Aries. So she was like, I love I'm like, I'm talking off the clo off the edge.

SPEAKER_04:

I'm like, Kit, it's okay. I I don't think that's real. I think she's still gonna come back. She likes being here, it's fine, blah blah blah. Then the dog got her. So then that's what I was like, that's what she was like, she's had the worst day.

SPEAKER_05:

And I was like, it's yeah, she's trained for this, and we're like gonna, I don't know. She Mary, you really pulled it out though, because that's the whole thing, is like, and this is super controversial, so like don't judge me on this shit. I didn't do Santa with my kid. People were really judgy about that. I said, I can't keep up with the narrative. He Saint Nicholas was a person.

SPEAKER_02:

I just had a car thought while I was driving home today, and I was like, the parents that judge others for not doing a Santa, I'm like, I'm sorry that I don't need to bribe my kid with a secondary person. Yeah, more complicated.

SPEAKER_05:

And that's kind of no, so that's kind of my thing, and and this is like for me personally. I I had Santa as a kid, I'm fine. It does not affect anyone any type of way. I just said I will never lie to my kid. That includes Santa. That includes, you know, if they're like, can I have some of your food? And you say, No, it's spicy because you don't want them to eat it, I'm not gonna do that because I'm not gonna lie to them. It's like, I don't know. I'm just like, if I if I break down that like trust, and maybe it's maybe it is a like a trauma response. No, but I think it was just a decision y'all made. Anyways, it's also mostly because I can't keep up with the narrative. Yeah, Keith, I can't lie. Okay, Keith yesterday was like, I'm so sick of this. And I said, Keith lean into the medium. I can't lie. I can't.

SPEAKER_04:

And then today, after the 30 minutes of crying about this damn elf, that I've I have told her point blank, elf isn't real, elf is a toy.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, and also can we talk about the fact that Kit has drilled Simeon? Oh yeah. Like Meredith's daughter has drilled my son about like, do you believe has she? Kit? At the beach. When we were all, it was like 6 a.m. and our doors were open. We could hear them. Oh yeah, yeah. It was so early. We were at the beach house, so all of us can hear them talking. Edistow. Oh, oh, oh. And Sim is stressed. You can hear the stress. He has been impressively like He knows don't ruin the magic for anyone else. Like he knows that. And so a lot of pressure. And so Kit's like, do you believe? And Sim's like, it's okay if you believe. And she's like, but do you believe? And Sim's like, I know that St. Nicholas was a real person.

SPEAKER_02:

He's such a genre. I know. I know.

SPEAKER_05:

I know, I know. It's been a whole thing. But yeah, so anyway, today was a freaking Sidney is a a Libra, right? He's a Libra.

SPEAKER_02:

There you go. There you go.

SPEAKER_05:

And kits and Aries.

SPEAKER_03:

Do you believe?

SPEAKER_05:

I know.

SPEAKER_03:

Also, when y'all were kids, was your Santa gifts wrapped or wrapped? Wrapped.

SPEAKER_05:

Mine were wrapped. Yours were wrapped.

SPEAKER_03:

Wrapped.

SPEAKER_05:

Unless they were big. Like one time we got a seesaw, it was unwrapped. Yep.

SPEAKER_03:

All of my Santa gifts were always unwrapped.

SPEAKER_05:

So same with my husband, same with Jay's.

SPEAKER_02:

We didn't do Santa Claus, and my mom tried to introduce Santa once we were too old for it. Interesting. But I think it was because Karina was still so young, my little sister. And I think she was trying to bring her magic for a magic, yeah. But we're like, You're like, what was this for?

SPEAKER_05:

Wait, so you didn't grow up with Santa. Do you feel like that affected you negatively at all?

SPEAKER_02:

I mean, no. Like, for me, the magic of the holidays is like thinking of others.

SPEAKER_05:

It's yes, and that's kind of what we're trying to instill is like you're making a list for somebody else and what you want to get them. And you're like, last year we made him deliver all of the Christmas cards to our neighbors. And like, we're trying to instill that.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes. Yeah. It's an empathy. It's looking at the same thing.

SPEAKER_05:

But he's also asking for an animatronic stitch. So, like, he's also, you know. But I accidentally ordered two of those. I know. So I got two coming tomorrow. Okay, I want to know.

SPEAKER_03:

An animatronic stitch.

SPEAKER_05:

Both of our kids are obsessed with stitch.

SPEAKER_04:

They're both getting stitched that says a hundred different things.

SPEAKER_05:

It's the only thing kids asked for. And I accidentally ordered a simple screen. Wait, can I tell y'all what Sim? Can I tell you what Sim asked for? A bag of balloons and a Kirby shirt.

SPEAKER_03:

A Kirby? What is a Kirby shirt?

SPEAKER_05:

Kirby. It's like a video game. Which he already got. So now he's like, I where's my bag of balloons? But Okay, I haven't should I ask a final question?

SPEAKER_03:

Sure.

SPEAKER_05:

I wanna know, because we laughed about like my hummingbird like drinking out of the hummingbird feeder earlier. I want to know your like weirdest childhood story. Like, what is your like thing that you did as a child that you're like, oh god, I can't ever repeat this. I want to know it.

SPEAKER_02:

Loved Harry Potter growing up. So I I would make potions. I feel like a lot of our listeners probably did too.

SPEAKER_05:

I was making potions in the bathtub every time I took a bath. Before Harry Potter. I was making bikinis out of bubbles. Me too. And and lots of beards. Oh.

SPEAKER_02:

I vividly remember breaking uh a branch from our tree, carving my own wand.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

I love this. Infused it with our pet hair for magic.

SPEAKER_05:

What pet? Was it like a dog?

SPEAKER_02:

A dog, yeah. Which is why my spells never work.

SPEAKER_04:

This is the first Neils hearing of this.

SPEAKER_02:

Like, I like went as far as making like my own wand holsters. And I loved a cadence.

SPEAKER_05:

Wait, but you but but also like you grew up religious and you were allowed to do marijuana. Because our mom immediately was like, it's weird. It's so weird. Same with Pokemon. I was like, I'm into Pokemon and Sailor Moon. And my mom said, nope, weird.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah. My mom was very weird about magic. I think Harry Potter it was a kid's thing, so I think she was kind of a little less defensive about it. And then we had also moved to America, which I think she was really afraid of us calling DSS on her.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh sh shit. Of y'all calling DSS on her?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh shit. So I think we Did y'all know what DC DSS was?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, like who doesn't know what child protective service is?

SPEAKER_04:

DSS was. Oh.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. That's so funny. It's a good thing. She becomes very traumatic for her being.

SPEAKER_04:

She's like, you can do whatever you want.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. And so she's like, if you want to do the Harry Potter thing, fine.

SPEAKER_04:

Just don't call DSS. Right.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. But yeah, yeah, and I vividly remember like nylon. It was a it was a camping tent divider. That's like that sheer white nylon-y thing. It was huge and it would billow so beautifully when I walked in it. That was my cake.

SPEAKER_05:

Love it.

SPEAKER_02:

And I'm pretty sure I was in gay school around the time that was. That's okay.

SPEAKER_05:

Having her meeting.

SPEAKER_04:

That's okay to be a wizard. I honestly love that.

SPEAKER_02:

Just waiting for my hunger letter. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Love that.

SPEAKER_05:

I love that. Because when you meet the wizard. Wait, what's your weird?

SPEAKER_01:

Once I approve my word.

SPEAKER_05:

Waiting for since Okay, what's your weird childhood story?

SPEAKER_03:

Um, probably okay, so my grandfather always had like a big garden. And I just remember one time like he didn't like cut everything down afterwards, and like his tomato plants had like dried out. And I remember like breaking off the stems because they're hollow on they're hollow on the inside, right? And I remember lighting them like a cigarette in my little treehouse.

SPEAKER_05:

This is literally like you to your core.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_05:

Wait, I'm obsessed.

SPEAKER_03:

Because you know they're hollow on the inside. Yeah, they they're they're like You're like, I'll be back.

SPEAKER_05:

I gotta go like token the tree house. Take the edge. I gotta take the edge off.

SPEAKER_03:

I gotta take the edge off, right? And I says tomato plant. Right, and it was like a little piece of a tomato plant.

SPEAKER_05:

I love that. I where'd you get the lighter? You stole it? It was like a secret thing.

SPEAKER_03:

No, I had easy access to a lighter at my grandparents' house.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, did you? Did you actually lit it?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_05:

That's so funny.

SPEAKER_03:

Do you know what it tasted like? Exactly what you would think it would taste like. Tomatoes. Right.

SPEAKER_05:

Tomatoes. I'm actually doing that now. That's so refreshing. Because like I want toasted tomatoes. Can we talk about though, like how smoking should be good for us? It really should.

SPEAKER_03:

I like to pretend that it is.

SPEAKER_05:

Like the thing is, is like everybody everyone I know.

SPEAKER_03:

There's a difference between smoking. There's a difference between smoking and vaping, though.

SPEAKER_05:

No, vaping is lame. I want the real deal.

SPEAKER_03:

Do you want to hear my talking points on the way? I think smoking a cigar uh an analog cigarette. Right. Yeah. The OG is better than vape. One, people have been smoking like whatever since people were in wigwams. Okay. Like.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. Back. I mean, I mean, and it was the long, like, classy shit. Like that's not wigwam time. No, no, no. No, no, no. Not like the holders. I'm talking like they were smoking like long, like, I thought it was underrounding. No, the 1920s. I'm saying it went from like the long pipes to the cla like when did it get so lame? When it became big business.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_05:

And they start adding carcinogens.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. Exactly. When capitalism took big tobacco. I mean, I wouldn't be opposed, but also.

SPEAKER_05:

I don't think. Or pipe art. We have an uncle that smokes a pipe, and like, I find that so I'm like I love the smell of pipe tobacco.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, he smokes pipe tobacco, and I'm like, Spatchcock, Hassleback, Cross Stitch, Golden Girls. And roll.

SPEAKER_05:

And golden girls.

SPEAKER_03:

And golden girls. And golden girls.

SPEAKER_05:

All of it. Yeah. Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

You know the best part about a cigarette? Yes. That's different than a vape? Actually, I do know the best part of a cigarette. Describe the day. No, I'm just kidding. Um day and time. I'll be there. Um, there's an endpoint. With this vaping, you can do it while you're decorating your Christmas tree, while you're doing dishes. There's no endpoint.

SPEAKER_05:

And there's no um like separation. Right. The thing with smoking a cigarette is you have to like step out of your world to do it. Right. It's like And vaping, you're like, oh, I can just do this like mindful into my sweatshirt. Right. Like, like it's it just feels like there's no mindfulness.

SPEAKER_04:

It's like the scrolling culture of smoking.

SPEAKER_05:

Of smoking. That's exactly what is exactly.

SPEAKER_02:

You mentioned the mindfulness, and it is very grounding. Like when you'll it's like when you smoke a menthol, you feel it go down. Like you feel the sensation.

SPEAKER_05:

It's well, and it's like you're taught to breathe in, breathe out. We're really promoting something that's not good for us, you guys.

SPEAKER_03:

No, but I also had asthma as a child.

SPEAKER_05:

And you hear it.

SPEAKER_03:

No, and I think that because I was like on an inhaler and like all of that, like there was that like that world fixation.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, give us your best, like, smoker lady voice.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, yeah, to close us out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We it's been two hours and one minute. Oh. And we're on week two. We can't go into week three.

SPEAKER_01:

Thanks for listening to Sister Shit Podcast. We hope to see you all next week. You girls have a great weekend.

SPEAKER_05:

See you next Tuesday.