Garth Brooks: Serial Killer with Guests Neil & Luis (Part 1)

TFW you finally get the guests you've been teasing all season...

This week, we welcome Neil & Luis to the living room. One mic, zero agenda. Buckle up, its a fun one. 

Follow us on socials at @sistershitpodcast ;)

Transcript

Cold Open: Sister Shit, Not Brothers

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Is it brothershit tonight?

SPEAKER_04 0:01

Brothers shit. We're not brothers. Hi, welcome to Sister Shit. I'm Meredith. I'm Caroline. And we have got a very special duo here with us tonight.

SPEAKER_05 0:20

We're so excited. If you you guys know them by like second hand, if you got a little text message from someone named Cole from Cutco. Cutco Cole, these are the men who introduced us to Cole.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

I sorry if you are so sorry.

SPEAKER_05 0:40

We've invited them here tonight to give a public apology.

SPEAKER_02 0:44

And we are so sorry that we brought you all into this web of Cutco and Ronnie.

SPEAKER_04 0:51

We too fell for it.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

We did. Like$100 parts on coral.

SPEAKER_05 0:56

Did you also have to watch his competitive interpretive band dancing?

Cutco Cole Apologies And Stories

SPEAKER_02 1:00

No, we didn't do that, but um we did learn through several other friends that he, you know, visited that he took a 20-minute shit in one of our friends' houses. So it's like it's cool. I hate to see you after Thanksgiving, buddy.

SPEAKER_04 1:17

Well, and y'all did. Didn't y'all just see him last week? He came to Sharp.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

He messaged us wanting to do a round two. A round two, because they've got great deals for the season. So but after all the negative reviews we heard from our friends, we couldn't do a second round.

SPEAKER_04 1:33

I mean we could not. We were stuck with him for hours. Yeah. Okay. And the 20-minute shit is the 20-minute shit is truly sinful.

SPEAKER_02 1:45

Right. Like it was literally just her watching this full demo and then he excused himself.

SPEAKER_05 1:53

But yes, we wanted to have Neil and Luis on to join us tonight. We're very cozy around this little table in Caroline's room sharing one mic because me and Caroline are technologically inept. Um, wait, sorry.

SPEAKER_04 2:07

Really fast, we need to take a shot. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:09

Oh, yeah, of course. Cheers. Cheers. ASMR.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 2:21

Oh. I haven't even taken mine yet. It wasn't. Caroline, if you spat this, spit that in my face, it wouldn't be the first time.

SPEAKER_04 2:28

We have we even maybe we've told that story already. I think we have. This is this is Neil, the one who I spat in his face.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

I'm also the one that she let a random cat into my house, then then it proceeded to take a shit down my leg.

SPEAKER_05 2:43

Okay, we've got to rate it in. We've got to rate it in. It's really gonna be like an hour of giggles. Okay, so that shot, if anyone's wondering, was a caramel apple shot. It was delightful after the initial, like burn like shock.

SPEAKER_04 2:58

I'm enjoying it. You're sipping it, weirdo.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

A sipper.

SPEAKER_04 3:01

It's like a melted sucker.

SPEAKER_02 3:03

I think you can really make it into a martini. They already have them. They're at Applebee's. I think that's the alphabet at Applebee's right now. Oh god.

One Mic, Shots, And Chaos Warm-Up

SPEAKER_05 3:17

Should we go? We put this party to Applebee's. Can you imagine?

SPEAKER_04 3:21

I love chains.

SPEAKER_05 3:23

I don't think I'd say that confidently.

SPEAKER_04 3:26

No, we don't love chains. It's ironic. Every time we go, I complain the moment we walk in.

SPEAKER_05 3:31

Till the moment we walk in.

SPEAKER_04 3:32

Till I'm still complaining. And it's been six months.

SPEAKER_05 3:35

Um, okay, so Neil and I met how long ago?

SPEAKER_02 3:39

A million years ago.

SPEAKER_05 3:40

Almost 20 18-ish years ago. Working at Banana Republic. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:46

Oh, we go, yeah. Is that first? That was first.

SPEAKER_05 3:49

We met at Banana in the mall. Neil was top dog at Banana. I was bottom of the food chain. And I didn't last very long because I wouldn't sell credit cards.

SPEAKER_02 3:58

I didn't I never sold credit cards. No.

SPEAKER_05 4:00

That makes me feel better. One time I had to help a woman um get she got stuck in a shirt in the dressing room. They always put me in the dressing room because I wasn't on the sales floor. And so I would just get stuck putting clothes back and helping people. She really did all.

SPEAKER_02 4:14

Meanwhile, I'm at the register with like my little earpiece. Just like Meredith, I'm sending someone back to you.

SPEAKER_05 4:20

Like, great. You're Sharon with a tiny shirt. Okay, so Sharon, I don't know her real name, but she got stuck in a shirt and had to help her out of it. And another time, a woman asked me if I could see her camel toe.

SPEAKER_02 4:30

Oh, yeah, I do remember that one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 4:33

Anyway, but that's how we met, and then we went to art school together.

SPEAKER_02 4:36

We went to college together. We also went to a really cool wedding where um gosh. I don't know if we can say this, but Robin Thick's stepbrother.

SPEAKER_05 4:44

Half brother.

SPEAKER_02 4:45

Half brother was at the wedding.

SPEAKER_04 4:48

No, wait, no, that's better. Half is better than Steph. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:51

He wasn't married, they weren't marrying each other. They were at the same wedding.

SPEAKER_04 4:55

But I'm like, Step is like even more distant. Yeah. It's like they're the same blood.

SPEAKER_02 4:59

Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_04 5:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:01

And that was like right when blurred lines were.

SPEAKER_05 5:05

Right after that. Yeah. That was a fun wedding.

SPEAKER_02 5:08

That was a fun wedding.

SPEAKER_05 5:10

We missed the bus.

SPEAKER_02 5:12

Not by choice. The bus never came to our hotel because we stayed at the poor hotel.

SPEAKER_05 5:16

We saw it leaving on the race. We're not leaving.

SPEAKER_02 5:19

We're like, I think that was.

SPEAKER_04 5:20

Do we run through the bushes or but then y'all didn't like y'all drifted apart. Yes. And then we reconnected at the gala where I spat on your face. Right. What if I would have never spat on your face? And he had to be like that. That was the first time I met.

SPEAKER_02 5:38

Is it spit or spat? Spat. Spat? Did I say spit? No, you said spat, but I'm just now I'm It sounds odd. But that was that was when we met Luis. That is when you got married.

SPEAKER_04 5:48

You guys were newly well. Yeah, like two months married, right?

SPEAKER_02 5:51

We got married in or was it 23. No, that was last year. That was last year. That was March of last year. Yeah, we were just gotten married. Wow, that new wedding smell still stuck on us.

SPEAKER_04 6:03

It was really sweet. We had just missed the wedding. And then we never stopped hanging out. And now here we got it. And here we are.

Banana Republic Origins And Reunion

SPEAKER_02 6:09

I remember Neil tricking people into smiling at the palm. I kind of forgot about that. One, two, three, Nikki Haley.

SPEAKER_04 6:18

Yeah, wait, Caroline, tell the story. Wait, about the Nikki Haley. Yes. So we're all leaving. It's the end of the night, and like at that point.

SPEAKER_02 6:27

I love an open bar, okay? Like, if I get a ticket and there's an open bar, I'm not just gonna get my money's worth. I'm going to drink more than I possibly should.

SPEAKER_04 6:39

Hey, we had an amazing. We didn't have a chance. It was great.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

It was great. I just remember two moms standing over in the corner being like, when's Neil gonna wrap this show up?

SPEAKER_04 6:50

Yes, that was me and Meredith because it was us. We had a mom. Because we were ready to go dance. We don't have kids.

SPEAKER_02 6:57

We want to go to the Woody.

SPEAKER_05 6:59

The elections had just happened. Like we had already voted. We had already voted. And Neil, there were palm trees lining the entrance to this to the art museum, and he convinced all of the drunk people walking out of the event that there was a camera at the top of one of the trees, and everyone was stopping. He said, Alright, there's a camera you want to look up there? One, two, three, Nikki Haley! And everyone was doing it. Everybody was doing it. And you know, I w I really hope in my heart of hearts that people are like, whatever happened to those pictures, you know?

SPEAKER_02 7:35

Like they log back in trying to see them. What did that guy work for? They're like emailing Nikki Haley being like, Did y'all were y'all campaigning at this Columbia Museum of Art last year?

SPEAKER_05 7:46

It was like the a month after the like everything.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

There was this cute little gay boy out there in all hot pink.

SPEAKER_04 7:54

Oh gosh. Oh my gosh. But then truly, we never stopped hanging out. It really is. And then it was crazy because we found out that like I was neighbors with their bestie. Yeah. Yeah. And so then we all just sort of merged into one.

SPEAKER_02 8:11

You know, Colombia is like one degree of separation. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:15

Like the guy that owns the camel.

SPEAKER_02 8:17

What? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:19

The the famous guy in Columbia that owns the camel. R.I.P. The camel, the guy. The camel. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 8:24

The camel passed away. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 8:26

I think I we know someone that got proposed to with that camel. Has to be the same person. There's not more than that. How many camels are in Columbia? That camel's seen some stuff, I think.

SPEAKER_02 8:36

Yeah. He was like he was like 29 years old. Yeah, rode the camel.

SPEAKER_05 8:40

The camel was 29? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:43

I rode the camel, too. Damn.

SPEAKER_05 8:44

That's probably the same camel I saw my ex-boyfriend's parents riding at the fair. We talked about that on the camera.

SPEAKER_02 8:49

No, that's a different camel. Yeah. They're more nomadic. Okay. Of the camel. Of the camel class.

SPEAKER_04 8:58

Okay, well, we decided to have them on. We're gonna go down Sony buttons now.

SPEAKER_05 9:04

Y'all buckle up. But you might want to save this for the evening when you can have a glass of wine or a shot. Because it's gonna be a bumpy ride. A good one. I mean a good bumpy ride.

SPEAKER_04 9:12

Like an ATV on a beach kind of bumpy.

SPEAKER_05 9:14

Yeah, you're not in the backseat of a man.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

Turn it into a drinking game. Every time we giggle, you take a sip. Perfect. There you go. Black out wrong by the end of it.

SPEAKER_04 9:25

Okay, so we and we were like, Neil, you have to come on the podcast, Luis, you have to come on the podcast because they are recent listeners.

SPEAKER_02 9:33

Right, we season two. We picked up season two. Um and this past week we were traveling for Thanksgiving and we decided to start listening to season one, which um some great topics. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:48

They loved the glasses episode where the guy was sharing glasses with his mom.

SPEAKER_02 9:53

I'm literally driving down the interstate trying not to wreck, dying laughing. But we've all been there. We've all been there. We all have a bad date. I dated a guy for a few minutes.

SPEAKER_04 10:06

We've all been there sharing glasses. No, I was like, No, my mom had lacing.

SPEAKER_05 10:14

Wait, do you have a do you have a bad date? You have a boyfriend for a minute story for us? Were you about to do that? Oh, I thought you were about to start sharing.

SPEAKER_02 10:25

That would probably be mine, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:27

Um He dated Cocky.

SPEAKER_02 10:28

Oh, we're just gonna out the mascot. Well, I guess he is already out and I slept with him.

SPEAKER_05 10:34

I didn't say slept with, I just said dated. Oh, well, I didn't. I don't think it was date. Oh.

Gala Night Pranks And Nikki Haley Bit

SPEAKER_02 10:40

Yeah. And then he moved to Florida, and then somehow I ended up picking up with another cocky. No, no, no. Yeah. It was after two, I decided I can't make this a thing. Right, right. But everybody's a pattern.

SPEAKER_05 10:52

Freeza pattern.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

Freeza pattern, that's right. And said I wasn't gonna be one of those.

SPEAKER_05 10:57

And Mares for the question was Did they wear the feet?

SPEAKER_02 11:00

No, they did not.

SPEAKER_05 11:01

Did you wish they did?

SPEAKER_02 11:02

No. Oh my god, if you ever got close to that outfit, it smelled like hell. No, no part of that was ever worn.

SPEAKER_04 11:10

Oh, I'm so glad. Jesus. Okay, well, okay, okay. Well, we decided to have them on because we're still trying to get through that. That's like whenever we tried to record one with Ben and Hannah. Oh yeah. That was so bad. Anyway, that never aired. But um, but they Neil has been creating a list in his phone of topics that he wants to chat through with us, and we're like, let's do it on the podcast. And it started it started with a can we were talking about the after the conspiracy episode, you were like, Yeah, that's kind of what that started. And we were like, don't say it.

SPEAKER_02 11:50

Don't say it. So should we start with that?

SPEAKER_04 11:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:53

Okay. Um, yeah. So basically, over like the past month, I've just any random thought that I've had, I'm like, I'm gonna put this in a note so we can discuss on a podcast on a few future podcasts. I've never been on a podcast. I have a lot to say.

SPEAKER_05 12:09

Ugh, I'm so glad you're hearing it.

SPEAKER_02 12:11

Okay, so my conspiracy theory that I have recently kind of fallen in love with. Okay. Is that Garth Brooks is a serial killer. Whoa, what was that? Oh my gosh!

SPEAKER_05 12:23

What's it?

SPEAKER_02 12:31

Oh my gosh!

SPEAKER_05 12:33

The timing of that was so fell.

SPEAKER_02 12:36

And the thunder rolls.

SPEAKER_05 12:38

Wait, okay, tell me everything. I recorded I never.

SPEAKER_02 12:42

Okay, so it started in like 2018 on some podcast or whatever where they were just saying that he has like a serial killer smile. Um, but it's like snowballed from that to where people have like lined up his tour dates in different cities with missing people.

SPEAKER_05 13:03

Shut up. But like, couldn't you do that with any musician? No.

SPEAKER_02 13:06

I mean, you could, but I mean, think about the 90s.

SPEAKER_05 13:09

But if you're looking for something like that. Back before DNA evidence. I'm a sucker. I'm like true.

SPEAKER_02 13:14

He could be, and he owns like 300 acres somewhere where it's like, mmm, body dumper.

SPEAKER_05 13:22

Our sister Emily loves Garth.

SPEAKER_02 13:24

I love Garth Brooks, too.

SPEAKER_05 13:25

The thunder. What is he doing now though? Is he hiding?

SPEAKER_02 13:28

Um, I think he's in hiding right now.

SPEAKER_05 13:30

Is he active on doing anything?

SPEAKER_02 13:32

Well, he was just accused of sexual assault.

SPEAKER_05 13:34

Oh. He was.

SPEAKER_02 13:37

How many times is his name in the Epstein files? Oh, I'm not sure. Oh no, I don't think it's like that. I don't think he's because you know he's he's married to Trisha Yearwood, right? No, oh yeah. Yeah. And so it was her makeup artist is accusing him of sexual assault. Um I didn't know that. But people are putting this together saying that maybe like his serial killer personality is Chris Gaines. Because in 1999, Garth Brooks came out with uh an album underneath the name Chris Gaines. Yeah, it was a rock alter ego project.

SPEAKER_05 14:15

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. We need to listen to the whole album. I like we there's a gotta be straight.

SPEAKER_02 14:22

Right. There has to be something.

SPEAKER_04 14:24

I'm sure there's a Reddit, sub like a subreddit on this.

SPEAKER_02 14:28

I think that's a job for Miss Caroline to look into.

SPEAKER_04 14:31

Sure will. On it.

SPEAKER_02 14:32

On it.

SPEAKER_04 14:33

I'll be up late at night looking up Chris Gaines.

SPEAKER_02 14:37

Let me know if if he really did murder somebody. But yeah, people like it.

SPEAKER_05 14:42

I hate that, but it is a great conspiracy.

SPEAKER_04 14:44

That's a great conspiracy. I've never heard that I haven't heard that. And I love Garth Brooks.

Columbia Connections And The Camel Lore

SPEAKER_02 14:48

When I started hearing it, I was just like, it was all on TikTok.

SPEAKER_05 14:51

And once I started hearing it, as a child, I feel like his music was the first music I listened to that made me like feel something.

SPEAKER_02 14:56

Yeah. You know?

SPEAKER_05 14:58

What was the that music video with the Okay. The music video with the tower on fire.

SPEAKER_02 15:04

Oh. What was that? Oh, Jesus.

SPEAKER_05 15:07

And the red piano. Wait, these are all feeling very murdery now.

SPEAKER_02 15:10

Yeah, the red piano when he's in all white.

SPEAKER_05 15:12

And the bleeding.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

Bleeding. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 15:16

But what was the tower song? That one I remember being like. Was that the dance?

SPEAKER_02 15:21

Sad have to miss the dance.

SPEAKER_05 15:24

No, no, no. It's like really like powerful.

SPEAKER_04 15:27

Um, it's like the one about like the dance. Not the dance. The um playing with something.

SPEAKER_05 15:35

Um, our cousins are gonna wanting to murder us right now. Yeah, we can't remember this. Umside the fire.

SPEAKER_04 15:41

Playing outside the fire.

SPEAKER_05 15:42

Not playing outside the fire.

SPEAKER_04 15:44

Dancing outside the fire. Dancing outside the fire. You know that one?

SPEAKER_02 15:53

I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 15:54

Okay, anyway.

SPEAKER_02 15:55

Maybe we should go down like uh uh Garthbrook's like music video rabbit hole.

SPEAKER_04 16:03

Standing outside the fire standing outside the fire.

SPEAKER_05 16:07

The bodies he burned.

SPEAKER_04 16:08

Standing outside of the fire.

SPEAKER_02 16:10

Oh my gosh, he just burnt everybody.

SPEAKER_04 16:12

On his 300 acres of land.

SPEAKER_02 16:14

Right. And he purchased the land early on in his career.

SPEAKER_05 16:17

That's a normal one.

SPEAKER_02 16:18

How long has he been doing that? I don't know. But are these people just like he's trying to sacrifice himself?

SPEAKER_05 16:30

Okay. Drink, okay, drink. I love that. Okay, that's great. Okay. What else do you have to do?

SPEAKER_02 16:37

So then, you know, it's we're getting in the spirit. Wow. More ASMR. ASMR. That that was a big glug. Um we're getting in the spirit of Christmas, and I just love Kelly Clarkson Christmas albums, right?

SPEAKER_05 16:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

So that just got me thinking.

SPEAKER_05 16:53

Wrapped in red?

SPEAKER_02 16:55

All of them.

SPEAKER_05 16:56

There's more than one.

SPEAKER_02 16:57

She has two. The second one's a little more sappier because it was after her divorce. But the original was the best. I mean Shania Twain's coming coming back album was sad too after her divorce.

SPEAKER_04 17:09

Everyone's got a sad post-divorce moment.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

I mean, man, I feel like a woman. She could have led with that. Like, just recut it, baby. You should feel like a woman after you divorce that piece of trash that slept with your best friend.

SPEAKER_04 17:24

Whose boots has your or what is it?

Drinking Game Setup And Listener Onboarding

SPEAKER_02 17:27

Mutt Lang. Mutt Lang's boots have been under her best friends, anyways. We're going off. Okay. So it got me thinking about Kelly Clarkson and how and how Kelly Clarkson really is just an American icon, right?

SPEAKER_04 17:44

She is. She is.

SPEAKER_02 17:46

One might say she's an American idol, even, if you will. I love myself for being prepared and having talking points, but also I hate myself for being such a dork. No, I love that.

SPEAKER_05 18:02

We need it.

SPEAKER_02 18:03

Um I brought notes. Okay, so, anyways, so this is all all I'll to get to is one, I feel like that that maybe that was the last time America like voted unanimously, like in the in the best way.

SPEAKER_05 18:18

Kelly.

SPEAKER_02 18:19

Yeah, just any election. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 18:21

For any any reason.

SPEAKER_02 18:23

I mean, like that's where America got off the ramp.

SPEAKER_05 18:25

You're referring to American Idol? Yes. Okay, yes.

SPEAKER_04 18:28

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I agree. Yeah, yeah. I just was because everyone was for Kelly.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

Everybody was for Kelly.

SPEAKER_04 18:33

I mean, we loved Ruben too.

SPEAKER_02 18:35

But he didn't have star power. No. No, he didn't.

SPEAKER_05 18:38

Kelly loves Ruben, does he? I mean, we all did, but he didn't have the star power.

SPEAKER_02 18:41

He didn't have the star power.

SPEAKER_05 18:42

Kelly is a superstar.

SPEAKER_02 18:44

Right. That's why she has Kelly Oki on her show. And the Kelly Right, the Kelly Clarkson show. And she can cover any song and it's better than the original.

SPEAKER_04 18:57

My friend Krista always says that. She's like a big Kelly gal. Big big big Kelly gal. And she always says Kelly can sing any song better than the original song. Right.

Season Reactions And Bad Date Confessions

SPEAKER_02 19:08

I really wish she did like what do they call them? The pop 40 or whatever, but it's just Kelly's songs. Right. Kelly remakes. Can we make that like a playlist on Spotify or something?

SPEAKER_05 19:23

Does she record her covers?

SPEAKER_02 19:24

No. She only does it for her show.

SPEAKER_05 19:27

I would listen to her covers.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

Because she probably has to get the rights and blah blah blah. And yada yada yada.

SPEAKER_05 19:33

She's got the money.

SPEAKER_02 19:34

I think Killers.

SPEAKER_05 19:35

So is that what you'd spend it on?

SPEAKER_04 19:36

I don't know. People do covers all the time. MGK just did a dumbass cover of some other song.

SPEAKER_02 19:41

I mean JoJo Siwa. Betty Davis!

SPEAKER_04 19:44

Betty Davis A. Anyways, the Inks to Desp.

SPEAKER_02 19:52

Oh my gosh. All that to say is I believe Kelly Clarkson to be America's sister.

SPEAKER_05 19:58

Yes. I agree.

SPEAKER_02 19:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 20:00

I don't know why I was I was primed for another conspiracy, but yes, I agree. That's why I kept looking at you like, where are we going with this? Where are we going with this? She's a serial killer too. But no, I agree. She is she is our star. Right. She's a beaking shining light. We love her.

SPEAKER_02 20:18

Sorry. Edit that cough out. Sorry.

SPEAKER_04 20:21

Not editing the cough out.

SPEAKER_02 20:22

Okay. Whatever. There's probably gonna be a few more because when I giggle, I cough, baby. Okay, so if she's America's sister, this is this is what got me onto this. I've thought long and hard about this. I've created a list, right? Oh, of random celebrities, and I think we should place them as who we would want them as our family members. I think that that would be so funny.

SPEAKER_04 20:46

Let's do it. Okay, okay. Okay. This is like F. Mary Kill Skin Soup, but create your own whole thing.

SPEAKER_02 20:51

And you know, right, it's very holiday. It's very Thanksgiving.

SPEAKER_04 20:56

Or sit around the table with for the holidays.

SPEAKER_02 20:58

Right. Okay, so what we could do is I'll just list these random names. There's not many. Okay, maybe there is a few, but and we're a full- it's a full table. It's a full table.

SPEAKER_05 21:08

How many place settings?

SPEAKER_02 21:09

I don't know. I just kept writing them out.

SPEAKER_05 21:12

We don't need to get on that.

SPEAKER_02 21:14

Um, there's chargers and we're on paper plates. No, God, no. This is a family event. Julia Roberts is number one. You think that bitch is eaten off of a paper plate, Caroline?

SPEAKER_05 21:24

Okay, how about you read them all to us?

SPEAKER_02 21:27

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05 21:28

So we have time to like process. Okay. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 21:31

Okay. Julia Roberts.

SPEAKER_00 21:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 21:34

Meryl Street. Tom Hanks. Barack Obama.

SPEAKER_05 21:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 21:40

Pete Butch.

SPEAKER_05 21:42

Little P.

SPEAKER_02 21:44

Little P.

SPEAKER_05 21:45

I forgot about her hand.

SPEAKER_02 21:46

Aww. Um, Martha Stewart. Okay. Taylor Swift. Oh.

SPEAKER_05 21:55

Sorry. We said we were.

SPEAKER_02 21:57

Um Amanda Bynes. Oh.

SPEAKER_04 22:00

I thought you were gonna say Amanda um, and I was like, okay.

SPEAKER_05 22:07

This is a great table.

SPEAKER_04 22:09

I I missed who's who was after Meryl Street?

SPEAKER_02 22:14

Uh Tom Tom Hanks? Okay. Okay. Um, Amanda Bynes, Morgan Freewent, Heeman, Ann Hathaway, Maya Rudolph.

SPEAKER_04 22:26

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 22:27

Anna Kendrick.

SPEAKER_04 22:28

Oh no, I don't know if I'm not. Is it? She just seems cool-ish.

SPEAKER_02 22:32

See, I feel like she married into the family. Yeah. She's not one of us, but she married in.

SPEAKER_03 22:38

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Conspiracy Corner: Is Garth Brooks A Killer?

SPEAKER_02 22:39

Um, Paula Dean. No? No.

SPEAKER_05 22:43

This is a big ass table. Okay, well. Sabrina Carpenter. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 22:50

Bad Bunny. Okay. Kiki Palmer.

SPEAKER_05 22:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 22:53

I did put Jojo Siwa on here. Oh.

SPEAKER_05 22:56

She's like the cousin that everyone's like, good. I wouldn't hate meeting her, to be honest.

SPEAKER_02 23:00

Zendaya.

SPEAKER_04 23:01

Oh, she's sitting next to me.

SPEAKER_02 23:03

And last but not least, Mariska Hargate. Who's that? Olivia Benson and Lauren Order SVU.

SPEAKER_05 23:10

I never watched it.

SPEAKER_02 23:11

Oh, see, I feel like if I had to choose America's mom, I would choose her. Oh, okay. She's such a badass. I know, I know. I guess you could also read them.

SPEAKER_03 23:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:23

Oh, yeah, y'all could read them.

SPEAKER_05 23:26

I definitely want. I feel like Julia Roberts is like the cool aunt. Yeah. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 23:33

Meryl Streep. Meryl Streep is the matriarch. Of course. Of course.

SPEAKER_02 23:37

Of course. I feel like Tom Hanks is like dad.

SPEAKER_04 23:42

Yeah, it's like Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks are like Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

Mmm. Okay, okay. I like that. I like that.

SPEAKER_05 23:51

Or Barack might be dad.

SPEAKER_04 23:53

Oh, wait, I forgot about Barack.

SPEAKER_05 23:54

I want Barack to be my dad.

SPEAKER_02 23:56

Is he dad or is he daddy?

SPEAKER_05 23:57

He's dad, Tommy.

SPEAKER_02 23:58

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 23:59

I mean he's daddy for some people, but Tom is Tom is Tom is the cool uncle with a like nice career. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 24:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 24:08

Um Pete is the gay uncle.

SPEAKER_05 24:10

Gunkle. Gunkle uncle.

SPEAKER_02 24:12

Uncle Pete. Gunkle Pete. Yeah. Or I was gonna say like older brother. Yeah. Like older brother.

SPEAKER_05 24:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 24:18

Sorry, I can't live up to my older brother, a Pete Buttigieg.

SPEAKER_05 24:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

God.

SPEAKER_04 24:23

Wait, but like Martha Stewart, I feel like she's definitely like someone in the family that's gonna be. She's married in too. She's miserable.

SPEAKER_05 24:31

She's married to Tom Hanks and she hates coming to family games.

SPEAKER_04 24:33

Yes, yes, yes, yes. But she brings the best dish. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 24:37

Okay, now that we're talking about this, I kind of want to be their kid.

SPEAKER_04 24:40

Okay, so you're the cousin and the sister. You're the cousin that's right.

SPEAKER_02 24:44

Martha and Tom are my parents. Okay. And you hung them away. And we're a little stuck up.

SPEAKER_04 24:49

Okay. Okay. Okay. And y'all are bringing the best dishes, and y'all are like talking shit the whole way there and the whole way home.

SPEAKER_05 24:55

Taylor, Swift, and Amanda Binds are sisters.

SPEAKER_02 24:59

Who? Taylor Swift and Amanda Binds.

SPEAKER_05 25:02

Definitely sisters. Amanda Bynes is the youngest and Taylor's the middle.

SPEAKER_02 25:06

Middle? Oldest something? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 25:09

Maybe. Yeah. Anne Hathaway's the oldest. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 25:11

Anne Hathaway is the oldest. Oh my god. That is perfect.

SPEAKER_04 25:16

Are you saying the baby of the family typically goes off?

SPEAKER_05 25:21

She I just I love her.

SPEAKER_02 25:24

Amanda Bynes, she has a face tat. I do kind of love her. Not last time I saw her on TikTok, and she's still trying to get her license to be a manor curist.

SPEAKER_05 25:31

Yeah, she's I always assume those are old footage. Yeah, the new again.

SPEAKER_02 25:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 25:36

But like, love her. I, for who she is at her core, she's the cool younger.

SPEAKER_04 25:41

And she brings, and no, even who she is now, she brings an energy to the dinner that's needed. Yes. Everyone's gotta have the one that's like staying off the wall.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

She's a little quirky, but she's my favorite. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:54

Like I can be myself around her, and we smoke weed in the bathroom. Yes, yes, yes. Love that. Right.

SPEAKER_02 25:58

Kiki Palmer is also going on that cousin walk with us.

SPEAKER_04 26:01

Is Kiki Palmer on this list? Yeah, Kiki Palmer. Sabrina Carpenter is the cousin that everyone's jealous of.

SPEAKER_05 26:07

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 26:08

Right. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 26:10

A lot of cousins. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 26:11

Um Bad Bunny. Where are we?

SPEAKER_04 26:13

Um I feel like Bad Bunny is the cousin that you're like, he's hot, and I don't know what to do because I think my cousins have.

SPEAKER_02 26:21

That's why I think that he married into the family, so that way you're safe to think that way.

SPEAKER_04 26:25

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_05 26:27

What about Maya Rudolph? I don't know where she fits into this. Is she dead?

SPEAKER_02 26:32

No.

SPEAKER_05 26:33

Maya Rudolph? I thought she was dead.

SPEAKER_04 26:37

How old is she? Mayor.

SPEAKER_02 26:39

She was literally on SNL like 10 years ago.

SPEAKER_04 26:42

Well, 10 years ago. Yeah, not gonna happen. Maya's Rudolph isn't that's like Kristen Wiggs' bestie. Oh my god, y'all. I was thinking Maya Angelou!

SPEAKER_02 26:53

Okay, but while we're on that, where would Maya Angelou fit on the table?

SPEAKER_05 26:57

She deserves a seat at the table. I was like, I think she's the guest speaker. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 27:01

She's the one that says Grays, but just goes on and on and on and on.

SPEAKER_05 27:04

Yes. Y'all, I'm dying. She actually just reads like. Maya Rudolph. I want Maya Rudolph to be my mom. Okay, you're you're my mom. She'd my mom and Kiki Palmer, my sister. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 27:14

That would be great.

SPEAKER_05 27:14

Enzendaya? Enzendaya.

SPEAKER_02 27:16

Enzendaya.

SPEAKER_05 27:17

Where does Anna Kendrick fit in? That family's too cool. I don't think I would.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

Again, I think she married in.

SPEAKER_04 27:21

Oh, you're right. Who?

SPEAKER_02 27:22

Anna Kendrick.

SPEAKER_04 27:23

Where does Jojo Siwa fit in? She's the cousin that showed. She's someone's girlfriend.

SPEAKER_02 27:28

She's the pizza delivery girl. She's not actually family.

SPEAKER_05 27:35

I feel like she's someone's girlfriend that we're like, oh, she's not gonna last very long. Yes. And they both bully her a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 27:41

She lies.

SPEAKER_02 27:42

Yeah, she totally lies.

SPEAKER_04 27:44

Everyone's like, she's a liar.

SPEAKER_05 27:49

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 27:50

Me and my mom Martha are like, she totally didn't make that pie. And she told us that she did.

SPEAKER_05 28:00

Oh my gosh. This was so fun.

SPEAKER_02 28:03

We would read her for filth. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:05

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I loved her. That was such a fun activity. My boyfriend that I'm bringing to the dinner.

SPEAKER_02 28:11

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 28:12

Because I, for the family dinner, is I guess Harry Styles. Okay.

Kelly Clarkson As America’s Sister

SPEAKER_02 28:19

It's not gonna be a Jonas brother?

SPEAKER_04 28:21

Harry's always my number one. And he is gonna be in a great outfit, and he's going to humbly perform. No.

SPEAKER_02 28:30

Humbly perform. No. Humbly perform.

SPEAKER_05 28:34

We're not having a lot of time.

SPEAKER_02 28:35

Caroline. No.

SPEAKER_05 28:37

No.

SPEAKER_02 28:38

I love Harry's soft, but I don't know. Thank you for coming to our Thanksgiving. Everybody pull out your golden buzzer. I hate golden buzzer videos, by the way. America's got talent. It's always some 12-year-old girl coming out with some fucking ukulele that's like, Oh.

SPEAKER_05 28:57

Yes, she our dad this weekend, we can say this because he doesn't listen.

SPEAKER_04 29:01

He told us he doesn't listen to it.

SPEAKER_05 29:03

Thanksgiving in front of company. We said, Dad, do you listen to the podcast? Because no, our company asked, Do you listen to the girls' podcast? And he said, No, it's nasty. And I said, Nasty. Nasty. And he said, Yeah, y'all cuss on it. And I was like, girls can't. Nasty?

SPEAKER_02 29:16

Girls can, but boys can. Fuck shit, pussy piss. I don't know. Wow, honey. Welcome back. You've been in the bathroom for so long. I thought you were selling me knives. Were you in the bathroom or have you been at Applebee's getting more Apple teeny? They got progressively less insulting.

SPEAKER_04 29:42

Didn't cursed growing up.

SPEAKER_02 29:43

No.

SPEAKER_04 29:44

I figured so.

SPEAKER_02 29:45

No. No, why wouldn't you?

SPEAKER_04 29:46

How old were you when you started cursing?

SPEAKER_02 29:49

Probably when he met me.

unknown 29:52

Hmm.

SPEAKER_05 29:53

It's about the time I met Neil.

SPEAKER_04 29:55

I remember you guys riding my bike as a kid. I thought, okay, yes.

SPEAKER_02 30:00

And being like I was like, I didn't know you as a child. No, I was like, wow.

SPEAKER_04 30:04

What's happening? I was like riding my bike as a kid and around my neighborhood, and I was like out loud, saying, okay, I'm gonna say it. I'm gonna say it. And then I said, oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 30:18

Oh. Did the thunder struck strike you down?

SPEAKER_04 30:23

It didn't, and I think that's when I was like, oh. Shit. No.

SPEAKER_03 30:34

Oh man. But yeah, I remember like really.

SPEAKER_02 30:38

Did you wake up the next day and say, wow, you take a big stretch and you go, wow, it's really great to be fucking alive.

SPEAKER_04 30:45

Yeah. That's when it started. Yeah. How old are you? I was like in the third grade.

SPEAKER_02 30:52

She's like, those multiplication tables ain't got shit on me. Long division. Fuck her.

SPEAKER_04 31:03

No, literally though, also beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. It's hard, money. Sorry, mommy. Mommy's not listening to this season. She's not? No. Gosh. Our family is a good idea.

SPEAKER_02 31:16

Well, if she is listening, she's gonna stop after this episode.

SPEAKER_04 31:19

No, but our sister Emily did send us her Spotify rap today, and she was a top listener. So thanks, Kim.

Casting Celebs As Family Roles

SPEAKER_02 31:25

Oh, you're in my top three of podcasts, yeah. Yeah. Right after the daily and MPR update or whatever. I love the daily. What's the NPR when I'm gonna do that? Up first. It's 15 minutes, yeah. Yeah. And then number three is uh sister shit. Or as Louise likes to call it, brother shit.

SPEAKER_04 31:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:45

Brothers.

SPEAKER_01 31:46

Brothers. Brother Wives. Brother Wives. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 31:51

Okay, what's next on here? What else do you have for us?

SPEAKER_02 31:54

So I don't know how I was watching regular TV the other day. Oh, it was on um.

SPEAKER_04 31:59

What's opposite of regular TV? Like streaming. Not streaming. Nah, I wasn't streaming. I didn't even consider that as a comment.

SPEAKER_02 32:06

Oh no, it was a commercial. It was a commercial for. Anyways, it was a medicinal commercial. Who comes up with these. Yes! Who comes up with Sky Rizzy? It's like, yeah, Sky Rizzy!

SPEAKER_04 32:18

And I'm like, nothing is or what is it? Nothing is everything.

SPEAKER_02 32:25

I'm like, what is going on here? And it's for like eczema.

SPEAKER_05 32:29

Eczema.

SPEAKER_02 32:30

And I'm just like, why is this?

SPEAKER_05 32:33

The names are unhinged.

SPEAKER_02 32:35

Right.

SPEAKER_04 32:36

Yeah, why? And then it's like side effects, every commercial. Side effects are. And then it's like 45 seconds of just listing everything.

SPEAKER_02 32:43

Listing everything out. You're gonna lose your hair. You're gonna have anal fissures. Like, I mean, it's like one thing after another.

SPEAKER_05 32:49

But it's like, don't take Sky Rizzy if you're allergic to Sky Rizzy.

SPEAKER_02 32:52

It's like Okay, I guess. It's like, girl, I've never taken Sky Rizzy before. But I have had a 4 Loco, and so I think we should just rebrand 4 Loco at Sky Rizzy because that's where everybody goes. It's an upper.

unknown 33:08

What?

SPEAKER_02 33:09

Sky Rizzy. 4 Loco. Fuck eczema. No, not fuck eczema. I'm sorry to the listeners. If anybody has eczema, I feel your pain. There goes our sponsorship. There goes your sponsorship for Sky Rizzy.

SPEAKER_04 33:23

Let's talk about who is seeing these commercials and then being like, ugh, let me call my doctor. I know.

SPEAKER_02 33:30

Girl, you got some Sky Rizzy.

SPEAKER_05 33:32

I do think that every time I see a minusal ad. I want to know the think tank. I'm pretty sure.

SPEAKER_02 33:37

There's a boardroom. Commercials are banned in Europe.

SPEAKER_04 33:43

We're literally the only country that is allowed to advertise medicine or medicine brands at all.

SPEAKER_02 33:51

Which is like So somewhere in the United States there is a boardroom of a bunch of suits.

SPEAKER_04 33:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:57

And they're like, what are we gonna call this?

SPEAKER_04 34:00

And nothing.

SPEAKER_02 34:02

You're the intern. You're up with the lingo. What would you call this drug? Man, motherfucking Sky Rizzy.

SPEAKER_04 34:10

Like the kids will love it.

SPEAKER_02 34:12

The kids will love it.

SPEAKER_05 34:13

All those itchy kids.

SPEAKER_02 34:15

Itchy kids.

SPEAKER_05 34:16

Those itchy kids are gonna love this. What the hell?

SPEAKER_02 34:20

I don't get that. And it they're all it kind of stresses me.

SPEAKER_05 34:26

They probably come up with the names when they're all coked up and then they get in the board meeting the next day, and they're like, I came up with so many good names last week.

SPEAKER_04 34:32

I love that assumption.

SPEAKER_05 34:33

Yeah, that's what happens for sure. Sky Rizzy! They like 1000% just have a list of potential names.

SPEAKER_04 34:43

Anytime that something comes to them in their car while they're driving, they're like, ooh, I'm gonna add that to my um podcast.

SPEAKER_02 34:50

Are you a marketing bro? Maybe I maybe I am. Maybe I am. Clause it at marketing bro. Maybe.

SPEAKER_04 34:57

I mean hey, start coming up with medicine names. I want to hear a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 35:01

I don't want to do that. Well, I mean, it could be pretty lucrative. Off the top of your head, give us one. Oh, um, one for diarrhea.

SPEAKER_03 35:08

Juby. Wait, Mayor, Mayor did that. Did we all hear that when we did our fake ad, our fake sponsor?

SPEAKER_02 35:18

Oh, I don't think we've gotten to that one yet. This season, yes.

SPEAKER_04 35:22

It's like sparkles.

SPEAKER_05 35:23

It was tummy sparkles.

SPEAKER_04 35:28

Tummy sparkles. Tummy sparkles.

SPEAKER_05 35:29

It's literally just a capsule of real glitter that makes you not be able to poop.

SPEAKER_04 35:33

No, when you do poop, it's glittery.

SPEAKER_05 35:35

No, it was poop. It was so much glitter that it stopped you up and pooping. It kept you from pooping, I think. Juby. Juby. Jubi Jubi. Jubi for diarrhea. Cole. We use his name so shamelessly.

SPEAKER_04 35:51

Yeah, sorry, we paused for a second and now we're talking about Cole. We shouldn't use his name. The thing is, like, Cole, if this ever comes back to you, take notes.

SPEAKER_02 36:06

We've been using a fake name the entire time. We should all text him this episode.

SPEAKER_05 36:12

We didn't want to bully him. I know, I know. It's bordering bullying.

SPEAKER_04 36:16

But like also, he did some things that are not forgivable. Like holding us hostage on a Friday night without eating dinner for three hours.

unknown 36:24

And our kids were coming around.

SPEAKER_02 36:25

He brought us pastries.

SPEAKER_04 36:27

Yeah. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 36:28

He got us. He knew we were gonna give a name.

SPEAKER_04 36:30

He was going to bring us pastries at 5 p.m., which I'm like, I don't want a croissant. It's 5 p.m.

SPEAKER_02 36:36

He brought us those little strawberry-filled things from Publix with the Urugula.

SPEAKER_05 36:41

Not arugula, rugula. Ace arugula. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:45

What? That's what they're called?

SPEAKER_05 36:47

Yeah, arugulas.

SPEAKER_02 36:48

You talked about like the little pastry raspberry. Yeah, and the little sugar on top. Girl, sometimes I can go. Arugula.

SPEAKER_05 36:58

No, like arugula. It's just called. Yeah. But like if you're having one, you say, can I have arugula?

SPEAKER_02 37:07

Suddenly I have diarrhea now.

SPEAKER_05 37:11

I need some shooby. No, no, no. No, no.

SPEAKER_02 37:15

I love those things. Sometimes I like whip into publics.

SPEAKER_05 37:17

Just to get them.

SPEAKER_02 37:18

Just to get those. And oh man, I smoke. I mean eat them like so quick.

SPEAKER_05 37:23

We had I worked at a coffee shop in high school, and I had a friend that worked across the street at this like Orvis store, and he would come in and order get like one rugula. We would like trade shit. I don't know what he was trading me from the Orvis store. Fishing, but he loved them.

SPEAKER_02 37:40

Lures. They're good.

SPEAKER_04 37:42

They're so good.

SPEAKER_02 37:43

They really are.

SPEAKER_04 37:44

So Cole brought you those. Okay, you want to hear he was gonna bring us pastries, and then he texted me when he was supposed to already be at my house, and he said, Hey, I'm running late. Do you still want me to stop and get the pastries?

SPEAKER_05 37:59

He's young. I see. I think he just like you know, he's young.

SPEAKER_02 38:07

He's trying to get his scholarship program.

SPEAKER_04 38:16

Again. So I'm like, was it? How do I do that?

SPEAKER_02 38:20

Okay, if you had the choice, if you had the choice of being in a scholarship program, would you do a pageant? Because they're all scholarship programs, or would you sell knives?

SPEAKER_04 38:30

Oh shit, this is a hard one. I do a page. But I would probably do like something like did you recently see the girl who did Screamo for her talent?

SPEAKER_02 38:42

I did see that.

SPEAKER_04 38:43

I wouldn't do Screamo, obviously, but I feel like my talent would be like very non-congeniality. Like juggling? No, she does the Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I don't know what my talent would be.

SPEAKER_02 38:54

Yeah, I don't know what my talent would be. I would definitely choose a pageant because I would want to win a crown.

SPEAKER_04 38:59

Well, okay, wait, can we talk about why? And it's more fun. Wait, I want to talk about why you like a sister.

SPEAKER_02 39:04

And there's a sisterhood.

SPEAKER_04 39:06

Is there I want to talk about why you did um what do you call it in high school? ROTC. ROTC. Because A, it's a brotherhood, and B, you wanted the badge. Is it a brotherhood? You wanted the badges.

SPEAKER_02 39:18

It was no, it wasn't, it wasn't the badges. It wasn't the badges. I joined ROTC because I was like, ooh, I can do this for a year or not take gym class. And I was like, I don't want to take gym class, so I'm gonna do ROTC. Yeah, and then that's the story.

SPEAKER_05 39:35

And then you found out there were hats.

Harry Styles At Thanksgiving Debate

SPEAKER_02 39:37

No, and then as you moved up, you got different hats. You got a white hat and you got like a double-breasted, like little blade, because we were navy. So we had like cool little uniforms. And then once I got the white hat, it when you got to be an officer, you got to have a white hat with like a gold band, and I was like, I want the fucking gold band. So I did it all four years. I was on drill team and went to drill meets and like did the whole thing.

SPEAKER_05 40:06

We were supposed to Did you consider doing it in college?

SPEAKER_02 40:09

No.

SPEAKER_05 40:10

He he got the gold band instead of it. Right. I was kinda like Do you still have the hat?

SPEAKER_02 40:14

I do. I was supposed to turn it all in, but I kept it. No. Twirl it and No, we have no guns in the house.

SPEAKER_05 40:23

No, but they're fake.

SPEAKER_04 40:25

The ROTC goes on.

SPEAKER_02 40:26

Oh, the ROTC ones, yeah. No, they weren't wooden. They were like fiberglass. Yeah, like.

SPEAKER_04 40:31

Because you gotta be able to twirl them. They could be lightweight. Right.

SPEAKER_02 40:34

Those were for yeah, there were different types of drill. Some of them were like actually the same weight as like a real gun.

SPEAKER_04 40:41

This feels dangerous.

SPEAKER_02 40:42

Right. And when you're a freshman and you have that on your shoulder, you're like, cute little twink like me. I could barely lift a gun. Oh, little olmay.

SPEAKER_05 40:53

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 40:54

This gun weighs more than I do. Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_05 40:57

Skinny as a needle.

SPEAKER_02 41:00

And we had PT, uh physical training twice a week, which was brutal.

SPEAKER_05 41:04

How was that different than gym?

SPEAKER_02 41:06

I don't know. More than gym. It was more than gym. Yeah, because we had PT once a week, and then I also had to wear a uniform to school once a week.

SPEAKER_05 41:15

That was probably like way more physical activity than they did in actual. He probably looked so good in your I kind of loved it.

SPEAKER_04 41:21

Can you send pics so that we can post it on Insta?

SPEAKER_02 41:25

Maybe.

SPEAKER_04 41:26

Yes. I want to see the gold hat.

SPEAKER_02 41:29

The gold hat the white hat with the Yeah, I don't uh Okay, okay, okay. We'll we'll circle back.

SPEAKER_04 41:35

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02 41:36

For the fans.

SPEAKER_04 41:38

For the fans. Do it for the fans.

SPEAKER_02 41:39

For the listeners.

SPEAKER_04 41:40

What's next on your list?

SPEAKER_02 41:42

Jay's having a great time upstairs.

SPEAKER_04 41:45

He's I don't know what he's doing out there.

unknown 41:47

It's hard.

SPEAKER_02 41:50

Mmm. Okay, so sequels of movies that are just as good as the first.

SPEAKER_05 41:55

Oh, okay. Do you have a list? Or you're asking.

Swearing, Parents, And Growing Up

SPEAKER_02 41:58

I want it. I want y'all's opinion. I know it's off the cuff, but. What about okay, what about this one? Sister Act? I haven't seen it. I've seen Sister Act. Have you caught up with the Golden Girls yet?

unknown 42:10

No.

SPEAKER_04 42:10

Can we watch? Can we have a night where we drink and watch it? I've seen Sister Act. Can we put it on during our Spatchcock day that we finally have?

SPEAKER_02 42:19

We should. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 42:20

Did y'all cross stitch?

SPEAKER_02 42:22

No. No.

SPEAKER_04 42:23

But y'all hassle backed and cross and and spatcocks.

SPEAKER_02 42:26

Yeah. But we did.

SPEAKER_04 42:27

Sorry, we so it wasn't complete. What's that? Okay, let's talk about this. Mare and I were hanging out with Neil and Louise, and we came they made us a Thanksgiving dinner. It was amazing. Not on Thanksgiving. It wasn't a Thanksgiving, but it was like a full ass meal. It was like a Thanksgiving night.

SPEAKER_02 42:41

Yeah, it was just like a dinner.

SPEAKER_04 42:43

It was a beautiful dinner. I was a Saturday night.

SPEAKER_02 42:45

It was a Saturday night.

SPEAKER_04 42:46

I felt very loved, and the squash was hassle backed, and it was beautiful. And I said, I want to learn how to spatchcock a chicken. And we said, let's have a hassleback spatchcock. And then we said, and let's cross stitch.

SPEAKER_02 43:02

Cross-stitch, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:03

So then what do you know? Next thing you know, we hear Neil and Luis had a hassleback spatchcock night with our other friends.

SPEAKER_02 43:15

Y'all were out of town. Y'all are out of town. We invited y'all, but y'all were out.

SPEAKER_04 43:19

We invited y'all with beautiful and y'all ghosted us.

SPEAKER_02 43:25

We did make we did make three chickens and they were really good. It was it was we were testing for ours.

SPEAKER_04 43:32

Right.

SPEAKER_02 43:32

We were doing market research.

SPEAKER_04 43:34

So when we do it, we're gonna meet all three and we will watch Golden Girls.

SPEAKER_02 43:39

Oh. Yes. Okay. That feels nice. Right? I like that. Okay. I like that.

SPEAKER_05 43:44

Okay. But yes, Sister Act, I've seen that. I haven't seen Sister Act 2. I've seen it. Back in the Habit.

SPEAKER_02 43:50

What?

SPEAKER_05 43:51

Yeah. But Sister Act's on Netflix right now. Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_02 43:55

The other day I watched it and I was just like, I haven't seen it since I was a kid. Sister Sister Back in the Habit is just as good as the first one, if not better. Okay. It's so good. I know there's a Oh, what's her name is in it? Um Oh my gosh. I always forget her name, and everybody is gonna be like, Why are you forgetting her name right now?

SPEAKER_05 44:14

Honestly, Hot Take Lion King one and Lion King One and a half, Dick Otunnel. Wait, no, not one and a half. I haven't seen that. Lion King 2. Lion King 2. Loved that.

SPEAKER_02 44:30

Lauren Hill is in Lauren Hill. Sister Act 2. That's right.

SPEAKER_05 44:34

Okay.

unknown 44:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 44:35

I don't think Kavu's better than Simba, but I think I thoroughly enjoyed the Kavanagh.

SPEAKER_02 44:40

Okay, Home Alone. Or Home Alone Lost in New York.

SPEAKER_05 44:43

Okay, so this is.

SPEAKER_02 44:44

You know they were filmed in the same year. They were?

SPEAKER_05 44:47

Yes. Okay, actually, I actually have an opinion on this. I also, as a child, sorry, do you want to go first? No, go ahead. As a child, I loved the second one. I thought I've for my most of my life I thought the second one was better. And then I watched them both as adults and realized I only like the second one because he goes to the toy store. Yeah, and the toy store is so magical, and the hotel's so magical. Right. In New York is so magical. But what about the bird ladies? I thought the bird lady. The traps are better in the first movie. Yeah, they kind of are. In the second movie, I get bored in the they like he's setting traps in this weird ass old apartment building, and I they lose. It's his aunt and auntie. It's not his house.

SPEAKER_02 45:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 45:31

Okay, but can we and the bird lady's random? You love the bird lady.

SPEAKER_02 45:34

I do love the bird lady. I think she's so cute, and they go to freaking Carnegie Hall.

SPEAKER_05 45:38

And that's the two turtle doves. Yeah, the man. Does she give him the turtle doves? The man does.

SPEAKER_02 45:43

The Toy Store Man.

SPEAKER_05 45:45

And then he shares them with her. Right.

SPEAKER_02 45:46

As long as we each have a turtle dove, we'll be friends forever. Yeah. Which is so fitting. Because she's a bird lady.

Drug Ads, Sky Rizzy, And Naming Madness

SPEAKER_04 45:54

I drunkenly at my friend's night before her wedding, or like two nights before her wedding, was sharing a king-size bed with one of my besties and her bestie and me. And it was like one of the most giggly nights of my life. It was like a dream come true as an adult because you just don't get it. Did you spit on anyone? No spitting. But like so much laughing that like all you could hear was like us sounding like we couldn't breathe. Like, whizzing, like your cheeks are hurting. Yes. It was brilliant. And one of the things that we're there.

SPEAKER_05 46:25

I just love those kinds of nights.

SPEAKER_04 46:28

Yes. And it I like want that that needs to probably happen to me like every six months. I think it would make me be A happier and B live longer.

SPEAKER_02 46:37

But one of the things It increases blood flow. I know. Right.

SPEAKER_04 46:41

I like love to laugh my ass off.

SPEAKER_02 46:43

I do too.

SPEAKER_04 46:43

It's one of the best things.

SPEAKER_05 46:44

We really is. And I love being around her. Do I want her to have my personal phone number? No, I do not. But I love to laugh. But I love to see her every two years.

SPEAKER_02 47:03

Every two years. One of the things I'm feeling a little down. I hope I run into her too. I hope I run into her soon.

SPEAKER_04 47:11

Okay, but one of the things we were laughing our asses off about was like, whenever someone would talk about Donald Trump, you'd be like, who? And they'd be like, Donald Trump. And you're like, the guy from Home Alone 2? We just like rolling about that for hours. We'd be like, oh God, and he wasn't even that good. Why are we talking about him?

SPEAKER_02 47:36

Uh down the hall. It's like, wow. Wow. Okay. Great.

SPEAKER_04 47:42

He's losing so many lives. Oh, gosh. We don't need to talk about that.

SPEAKER_02 47:45

No, we're not gonna open that can of worms.

SPEAKER_04 47:47

Sleep in. Okay. He's been real sleepy. Oh, so what's next on your list? Because you've got one that I'm dying to talk about that you told you like gave me a hint on.

SPEAKER_02 47:57

Oh wait, what?

SPEAKER_04 47:58

And I'm dying to talk about it.

SPEAKER_02 47:59

What? Which one?

SPEAKER_04 48:01

Restaurants with Oh, re Bad Websites.

SPEAKER_02 48:06

Y'all, this kills me.

SPEAKER_04 48:09

I think of ever since you brought it up, I'm like, I've thought about it.

SPEAKER_02 48:12

How many how many times have we at this table, and we as the people in the car and listening to this right now, giggling, trying to stay between the lines, um, have gone to order something from a restaurant and you pull up their website and it fucking su you have one job. One job to put a menu online.

SPEAKER_04 48:35

And and the website could literally just be one page with the menu. That's very true. That's all I want. Right. Yeah. That's all we're here for. If you take reservations, a reservation is a resie. Yes. Not even a link. Yes, a link. Or let's take it at school. Let me fucking call you.

SPEAKER_02 48:56

Also, you could just link to your Uber Eats.

SPEAKER_04 48:58

Yeah. Yeah. Yep. You know what the worst is? And one of my favorite restaurants in Colombia does this, and honestly, I kind of make I feel like it makes them better, but I hate it. Their menu is pictures of their menu on like Facebook.

SPEAKER_02 49:16

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:16

So when you like JJ's tea house.

SPEAKER_05 49:19

No, I my Thailand restaurant the same way. My favorite takeout place is this Thai place called Thailand Restaurant. They do not have a website. They do not have a Facebook. They only exist as like what's that food rating website? Oh gosh. Like where people where customers take pictures of the menu. Like triple. They only have they only have like Yelp other customers. And like you don't, you never know how old the menu is. Like it is the most haphazard, but I order from them all the time because I know what I want.

SPEAKER_04 49:55

Yeah, same with JJ's. I know what I want. I don't need to look at the menu, but like whenever I'm like have friends over and I'm like, we're gonna eat at JJ's, this is what I get. They're like, let me see the menu. And I'm like, fuck. I'm gonna have to go on Facebook. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:09

I love looking at a menu prior to the video. I do love those heroes on the Google reviews that do take pictures of the menu and post them for for us. I know. They're doing the Lord's work. They really are.

SPEAKER_04 50:21

A Google review? A Google review. A Google review. I have one time. It was for Wing Stop.

SPEAKER_03 50:29

And not Wing Stop. Years ago when I was pissed off because half of their lights were out.

SPEAKER_04 50:51

We had to wait for so long, and there was a couple that was like taking advantage of the lights being out, and they were like straddling each other in a chair making out.

SPEAKER_02 51:04

Front facing?

SPEAKER_03 51:05

Like, like this way.

SPEAKER_02 51:08

Oh, front facing. Wow. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_04 51:12

Not the wingstone. Not the wingstone. Were they teenagers? I don't honestly remember.

SPEAKER_02 51:17

Honestly, I pictured them like 40.

Cole, Pastries, And Sales Etiquette

SPEAKER_04 51:19

Jay and I were just I I literally was like, I am disturbed.

SPEAKER_02 51:24

Not in a wing style.

SPEAKER_04 51:26

That was the headline.

SPEAKER_02 51:28

I am disturbed.

SPEAKER_04 51:30

Fix your lights. Pay your electric bill. I mean, it was it was that was.

SPEAKER_05 51:35

I've left a nasty review, but I honestly can't remember who it was for. Oh. I could go on my, I could go find please hold. Others share with the glass.

SPEAKER_02 51:43

I've only Google reviewed, not because I was asked for a previous dental office that I went to, because they worked me in because I chipped my front tooth eating a corndog at Sonic.

SPEAKER_04 51:55

Wait, Alan, they're so squishy. You bit into this dip.

SPEAKER_02 51:59

Because no, my favorite part is the little crunchy end at the very end. That's my favorite part.

SPEAKER_03 52:08

It was crunchy.

SPEAKER_02 52:08

It was from Sonic. It was on their dollar day.

unknown 52:11

I don't know how it's all gonna work with it.

SPEAKER_02 52:13

And it chipped my tooth. And so I was like, well shit, now I gotta go to get this fixed because I can't have a chipped tooth. Damn. And so I found a dental office. I took my tooth on the fork. Literally, it was the next day, and they fixed it.

SPEAKER_04 52:25

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 52:26

And so I was like, yeah, local. And I was like, you know what? I'm gonna leave them a review. And then I decided to go back, and the next time I go in, they were like, ha ha, you're that man that left us that Google review about the corn dog. And I was like, um, yes, I did, I did. That was me.

unknown 52:44

So funny.

SPEAKER_05 52:45

Okay, mine was also about a dentist, but it was a bad, it wasn't nasty, it was honest. I went to a dentist in town, and they were very unprofessional. The I can't remember what it was. I they told, they literally just Oh, they told my husband, they were like very unprofessional with my husband, who's like insecure about his smile, but they like said some very unprofessional things about his smile. And like they the lady talked to me in length, which I know hygienists do this, but like in length about like her romantic life. Like she's talking about like inappropriate things, not like wildly inappropriate, but as a like a customer or like a patient, I felt like there's some well, like I don't care about it. Girl, I don't I don't care.

SPEAKER_02 53:26

There's also topics you shouldn't discuss when their fingers are in your mouth.

SPEAKER_05 53:31

Yes. So Minnie's. I wrote a review and said my experience.

SPEAKER_04 53:35

They call me. Well, that's the gig. They try to they try well, they were mean to you. Yes. Oh, because I was gonna say typically they call you and butter you up so that you deliver. I wish they did.

SPEAKER_05 53:45

No, they called me and they were like, Why did you write that review? And I was like, Well, this that was my experience. Like, I won't be coming back. I didn't have you know, whatever. And they were like, they like stood their ground.

SPEAKER_02 54:00

They doubled down.

SPEAKER_05 54:00

They doubled down. That's horrible. They were like, they were like, we like to we are just like really honest and want to have like a really f like family friend and friends atmosphere in our office, and like you just don't get it essentially. And I was like, Well, yeah, I won't be coming back because I'm not gonna.

SPEAKER_04 54:15

I don't want to feel like my hygienist is my bestie telling me about her sex life. I'm good.

SPEAKER_05 54:20

It was weird. Anyway, so that was but it's like in my internet history, my bad.

SPEAKER_02 54:25

What's yours? I don't think I've ever left a Google review.

SPEAKER_04 54:28

That surprises me.

SPEAKER_02 54:30

That actually does.

SPEAKER_04 54:31

Because you're so kind, I feel like you'd be leaving like good ones all over the place.

SPEAKER_02 54:34

I probably have, but just like five stars, you know, look nice, something simple. Don't let him put him in Karen. Don't let him just to help the ratios, you know, stay good.

SPEAKER_05 54:43

Yeah. I did one time call a radio station locally and just to tell them that their set list that morning was great and they're doing a good job.

SPEAKER_04 54:51

Mare has like really that was probably why you ended up winning tickets. Because you like put that out into the. No, but you put it out into the universe. And then she won Justin Bieber tickets on a radio show. That's that same station. Maybe they did know my number.

SPEAKER_05 55:06

Anyway. Oh, that's all we have for you this week. Dying to know how this conversation ends. Come back next week to hear the rest of ours and Luis in the old buzzing conversation. See you next Tuesday.