Sister Sh*t

Gender Reveals + Jello Jigglers

Caroline Smith and Meredith Walker Season 2 Episode 10

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0:00 | 35:46

Join us for a Tuesday living room chat about everything, and nothing at the same time. Getting held hostage by a Cutco rep, Meredith's weird affinity for 60s jello casseroles, Caroline gets saved by the mormon's, and we hash out the easter spread of 2021... again.  Thanks for listening, S*sters! <33

Follow us on socials at @sistershitpodcast ;)

Bad Moods, Parenting, and a Pivot

SPEAKER_00

Hi.

SPEAKER_02

Welcome to S Welcome to Sister Shit. Me and Caroline are both in bad moods.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. What's up with that?

SPEAKER_02

Parenting is hard.

SPEAKER_01

Is there something in the stars?

SPEAKER_02

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

I hope so. That always makes me feel better when I'm like, oh, mm-mm, it's the universe. It's not me.

SPEAKER_02

Is Mercury in retrograde? Oh, she doesn't understand. Go figure. Okay, well, anyway, we're here. Hope everyone's having a good week.

What Ages Well? Setting the Theme

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Me too. We literally just had like an hour-long conversation before this about parenting. So that really set the tone. Yeah. But we're going to switch gears and talk about things that do or don't age well. Do or don't age well. Which I feel like I kind of talk about this a lot.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, what do you talk about the most?

Hooters vs Twin Peaks: Uniforms and Vibes

SPEAKER_01

I mean, typically like movies or TV shows, being like, oh, that's age well, or like, oh my gosh, that age so well.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, well, Jay and I were just talking about Hooters and Twin Peaks.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know why we're talking about it.

SPEAKER_02

Jay is trying to get to go to Hooters.

SPEAKER_01

No. I think he's trying to get on the podcast.

SPEAKER_02

Dropping it in conversations.

SPEAKER_01

He just keeps being like, like anytime we're talking about what he'll, he's like, what are y'all talking about tonight? What are y'all talking about tonight?

SPEAKER_02

He's had a taste.

SPEAKER_01

I know, he's had a taste.

SPEAKER_02

A taste of the behind the mind.

SPEAKER_01

I don't think he's into Hooters that I know of.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, this is my analysis of Hooters. I don't know what we were saying about it initially, but just that like multiple people we know have accidentally gone to Twin Peaks not knowing it was like a Hooters-style restaurant. I've been to Twin Peaks, and I've also been to Hooters.

SPEAKER_01

I have a really awkward story about Twin Peaks because whenever I went back to school, and so I was in like a bunch of freshman classes, but I was like kind of old.

SPEAKER_02

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01

This girl was like, I was like, we were talking about where we worked. I barely knew her. You know those like freshman level classes that have hundreds of people. So you make that like one friend that you see every like Wednesday and Thursday for a semester and never see them again. Yes. She was one of those. Okay. And I was talking to her about like what she did, what she like if she worked and stuff. And she was like, Yeah, I work at Twin Peaks. And I was like, oh, what is that? And she's like, it's a restaurant in the Vista. They play like or they like have a lot of football games and sports games playing and stuff. And I was like, oh my gosh, I need to bring my boyfriend or husband. I guess we're married, my husband there. He'd love that. And then I found out later, it's like a titty bar.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Okay. This is my thing though. Hooters, like, I think maintains they have a very strict dress code.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Like the Hooters Girl has looked the same since the 80s or 70s or whenever it started. It's like you know exactly what you're gonna get when you go.

SPEAKER_01

And dare I say that the dress code is like kind of classic.

SPEAKER_02

It is. It's classic.

SPEAKER_01

Everyone loves a little jean short.

SPEAKER_02

No, it's it's a it's like a hot pant.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, it is a hot pant.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it's like an orange hot pant with the socks.

SPEAKER_01

With the socks.

SPEAKER_02

And like the battery, and like the rebox. Which I don't know if they have to wear a rebox, but I kind of like it though. So I've goters has always been that that. Okay. And I think their strength is that they don't both boobs feel e uh no, there's some little boobs, but they're always out. Okay. It's like your boobs are fully out. Okay. Not fully out, but you know. Um they've never felt the pressure to adapt to the ages. Like they're like, we are who we are.

SPEAKER_01

Which is typically misogynist.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It's like misogynists own it. So they're like, they're like, nothing needs to change.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. Okay, my take on Twin Peaks, I went one time. I've been once to both of these establishments. Why? We went with work. We like, it had just opened, and we were like, let's go to Twin Peaks. It was it's like lumberjack. Probably. I worked for an agency, like an advertising agency that like very much wanted to be in Mad Men vibes.

SPEAKER_01

Like interesting. So Twin Peaks it is.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it was fine. It was fine. And it was like men and women. We all consented. We were all consenting adults.

SPEAKER_01

The HR uh person was.

SPEAKER_02

She was probably there, Nikki. Um but anyway.

SPEAKER_01

Um the vibes are bad. Like And the outfits are bad. They look like the they're gonna catch on fire at any given moment.

SPEAKER_02

Because it's like jean shorts and a flannel, like a bad flannel, right?

SPEAKER_01

I thought it was skirts, but maybe it is jean jean shorts. Oh, is it skirts? And it's like a it's like a crop flannel top that top.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and they're cheap looking. And do they have to wear like boots? Yeah, look it up. I don't remember. I I just remember thinking there's not enough um continuity. Like I think with Hooters, their strength really is in the idea that all women are the same woman. Because everyone is really good at looking like the other. And I feel like I say that facetiously, obviously, but it's very much what they're going for. And at Twin Peaks, I just remember there being like maybe it was like I don't know if it's like this at different ones, but this one I just felt like there were some girls that had like so many piercings and tattoos, which I was like, this doesn't feel like the vibe at in the mountains.

SPEAKER_01

But it could be because like you could be like, oh, I go to Twin Peaks if I want like a pierced-up tattoo. But not all of them were like that.

Behind the Scenes: Work Trips and Dress Codes

SPEAKER_02

Most of them were. But so it was just not I think I was just expecting Hooters is like weirdly clean-cut feeling. And Twin Peaks felt a little grittier.

SPEAKER_01

I watched a like undercover boss.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, of a Hooters. Of a Hooters.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, and it was insane.

SPEAKER_02

The like abuse? Yes. Or harassment? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It was really like the the boss really thought that like Hooters was the CEO was like thinking that Hooters was a good place for these women to work.

SPEAKER_02

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01

And he went in in this like nasty swine-like looking man.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Was like bitching at these girls, telling them that they looked ugly without.

SPEAKER_02

Swine-like looking man.

SPEAKER_01

And like, I mean, he was just disgusting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Like, like I mean, I think you have to be if you manage or own a hooters.

SPEAKER_01

Ugh. And the guy, the CEO, was disappointed, and I'm like, do you live under a rock? Like, of course this is how it is. But I asked and I accidentally got onto like Twin Peak worker TikTok for a minute.

SPEAKER_00

Oh.

SPEAKER_01

Where they were talking about working there. And they all hate it, first of all.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, how come? Same reasons?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you have to have your makeup has to be perfect. They literally grade your like eyeliner and your they like grade.

SPEAKER_02

I remember when you were on this TikTok.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you get points off for all of these different things. So like if your nail polish is chipped and like if your eyeliner is crooked. Like all of these different and everything has to like fit like a color pattern for your makeup and your hair and stuff.

SPEAKER_02

I feel like the Columbia one is not following those guidelines. But I've again only been once and it was like the week they opened.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I've I've never been to a Hooters or a Twin Peaks, and I just don't really think you're missing anything.

SPEAKER_02

And I don't honestly, like when Twin Peaks opened, I thought, are we still doing this?

SPEAKER_01

I know.

SPEAKER_02

It does feel how is there another type of restaurant like this?

SPEAKER_01

There's a Hooters out in the Northeast that just closed down and now it's a gas station.

unknown

Huh.

SPEAKER_02

Interesting.

SPEAKER_01

They took that thing to the studs and started over.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, well, as they should.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I'm like, I don't think we're doing this anymore.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I know. I wonder how the Twin Peaks in the Vista's doing.

SPEAKER_01

Is it still there?

SPEAKER_02

I have no idea. I drive by it every day, but I never pay attention.

SPEAKER_01

I just can't imagine being like, oh, let's go to Twin Peaks and eat some wig.

SPEAKER_02

I know. Look at some boobies.

SPEAKER_01

Like it's so it is.

SPEAKER_02

Like you can't find boobs to look at and you're like, have you seen the Office episode where Michael takes Jim and Jim's like, I want to die.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_02

That's like, I feel like that's like the clientele though.

SPEAKER_01

Ugh.

SPEAKER_02

It's like guys that literally can't find boobs other places.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Oh man, I feel so sorry for those women, but hopefully they're getting good tips.

SPEAKER_02

They had they chose to work there, you know. There's other restaurants to work at.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, but you probably get really good tips there. You think?

SPEAKER_02

You think, I don't know. I don't know. You could get rid of it. I think you could put your tips out at a regular restaurant and get better tips because they're not expecting it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. If I was working in food and bev, I would be working at like a Halls chop house.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. For sure. Actually, well, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, we yeah, we had a weird Halls experience.

SPEAKER_02

We did. We thought someone was speaking undercover to us asking if we were Republican, because the vibe at the Halls in Columbia is very Republican.

SPEAKER_01

And it's just the question was odd. Like it was just. He said, Is your name Dixie? Your name Dixie, and we're like, what could that possibly mean? First of all, nobody our age is named Dixie. So like he wasn't actually asking at first.

SPEAKER_02

And someone had already, we overheard the person next to us already being like, These dang Democrats, which was very weird.

SPEAKER_01

That's weird because we weren't even talking about anything political. I was enjoying my lobster macaroni and cheese and truffle frogs.

SPEAKER_02

I know. But I we found out later that it's a lot of call girls hang out there. So we were probably someone probably thought we were looking for work.

SPEAKER_01

You think? Which I'm like, what were we wearing? Because I thought we looked cute.

SPEAKER_02

I know. But maybe it's like fancy call girls at Halls.

SPEAKER_01

How much do they make?

SPEAKER_02

I don't know. Anyway, we digress.

Undercover Boss, Management, and Misogyny

SPEAKER_01

We digress. Okay. Um can we talk about other things? Constitution has that aged well. I'm just kidding. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02

Can we talk about other things that age well? Question mark. I've had this question f every time I at least twice a year when I go to the dentist and the eye doctor.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_02

The equipment they use at both the dentist and the eye doctor, have we gone as far as we can in those areas?

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_02

But there's no Okay, but this is why I think every time I'm like, well, they must be doing their job. But I'm like, I do feel like I'm which the dentist I go to is like yours, if even if new stuff has come out, they won't get it.

SPEAKER_01

They won't get it because they are stuck in 1986.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. It reminds me of like carving dentists growing up.

SPEAKER_01

They haven't redone rugs, carpets. No, but they're good at doing teeth. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Anyway, but the eye, every eye doctor I've ever been to, you look at the little picture of the farmhouse at the end of the road, which is like straight from 1950. I love the picture. It's very cute. Like it's very charming. But I'm like, we haven't even changed the picture.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know it always.

SPEAKER_02

But I guess it's like if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Like, why would we change it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It's been telling eyesight whether it's good or bad for years. Why fix it?

SPEAKER_02

But then if then you go in and it put that giant thing across your face, it all just feels so like old school. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I felt that way at the dentist the other day.

SPEAKER_02

I had to get a Caroline has a hot dentist.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, I do have a hot dentist. And my everyone in my life knows this. I even sent Jay to him. I'm like, and he's hot, by the way. Jay's like, what?

SPEAKER_02

Bye. You told that to Jay or just everyone else?

SPEAKER_01

Everyone. Jay. I was like, he's hot. Just so you know. Jay's like, I what? What? So, anyways, it's not good. This is my take on having a hot dentist. Do not recommend.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. Because You're very vulnerable.

SPEAKER_01

You're very vulnerable. They're looking in your mouth and your teeth. And like Jay was like, gosh, Caroline, you're not gonna be allowed to go to the dentist anymore if he's hot, like joking around. I was like, Jay, you don't have a thing to worry about because he's given me three fillings. And the last one was.

SPEAKER_02

But his teeth are sticky.

SPEAKER_01

The last one, he said it was a very deep filling.

SPEAKER_02

Do you think he was hitting on you?

SPEAKER_01

No, I think he was disturbed. He it it seemed as though he'd never seen anything like it. And I was like, damn it.

SPEAKER_02

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01

I know. But I thought to myself while they were doing Mr. Slurpee, I'm like, I don't think Mr. Slurpee has changed since 1999.

SPEAKER_02

Recession does not affect him.

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_02

He's just he's been clunking along.

Are These Places Still a Thing?

SPEAKER_01

And like something this is random about the dentist, but I I know everyone probably feels this way. Don't talk to me while you've got your hands in my mouth. I had one lady that like was an impulsive talker, but it was like really uncomfortable because she like wanted me to answer. It wasn't just like talking. They always do to talk. It was like asking questions. My last gal was great. She saw a Harry Styles sticker on my phone, and then she just talked to me about how much she loved Harry Styles the whole time her hands were in my mouth. And I didn't have to answer anything. I was just like snapping. Like, yes, bitch. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. I think that should be part of their class, like when they're when they're getting their dental assistant.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02

So thinking of like how to have a one-sided conversation.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_02

And I just think all see, I have my girl has a one-sided conversation, but it's shit that you don't want. Like she just like is scared of the world. And she lives, she like talks about Columbia like it's the big city. And it's like you leave and you're like, I feel depressed. And like so annoyed. I feel like we're friends.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. That's how I felt about Harry Styles.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. But yeah, and Keith keeps getting the bad one.

unknown

Oh.

SPEAKER_02

I know. He was like gonna ask about a treatment he could get last time, and he was like, I didn't because it was this girl lady, and I wanted to get out of there so bad.

SPEAKER_01

They they should start at every customer service um appointment. Like whenever you sign in, you should check whether or not you're in the mood to talk.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, I was gonna say they should match make you with your dental hygienists. That's not a bad idea. Because you see them twice a year.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's not a bad idea. But I do think we'll be able to do it.

SPEAKER_02

It should be like a massage. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Or like with hair, which y'all know our hair girl, we love it.

SPEAKER_02

We love Natalie.

SPEAKER_01

I could talk to her all day.

SPEAKER_02

I know.

SPEAKER_01

But like there are times that, like, whenever I was doing hair, I couldn't tell the vibe. Like, do they want to talk? Do they not? I'd rather them just tell me straight up on the piece of paper when they get there. I don't feel like talking. I know. And then I'll just blow dry your hair in silence.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, they should do that for more than just massages. They should do it for every everything.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_02

Because you know they don't want to talk all day.

Dentist and Eye Doctor Tech: Stuck in Time?

SPEAKER_01

I someone was telling me that she did that for she was like a lash, lash extension girl or something. And she said that she has them check whether they want to talk, be silent, or listen to a podcast. And like what like they like they'll say like what kind of podcast they like, and they'll like listen to like a true crowd podcast.

SPEAKER_02

They should do that at the dentist. Yes. It's kind of loud, but it is, but yeah. You know what innovation they do have the dentist? Is instead of the scrubber thing that like literally makes me want to pull my arm hair off. Yeah, that's like it's like a circle. They now have the little power washer with like the salty cleaner.

SPEAKER_01

Wait, your dentist is upgraded.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, I love it. Mine does you literally get like a little power wash.

SPEAKER_01

No, mine still does the salty gritty stuff.

SPEAKER_02

Do you what flavor do you pick?

SPEAKER_01

They don't even ask me. They just get mint.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, I guess they don't ask adults.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Which I'm not choosing.

SPEAKER_02

But the one I kind of like the one, the power washy one is like it's like sandy water and it's like salty.

SPEAKER_01

Oh.

SPEAKER_02

I'm into it. I mean, I'm not into it, but it's so much better than the scrubber.

SPEAKER_01

I remember as a kid, like thinking about the scrubber and getting the chills.

SPEAKER_02

It's awful. Okay, I have a cr I have a hot doctor story about like talk about fillings. I, with both pregnancies, would get planters warts on my feet. Sorry, I should have had like a warning. This is sick. This is so sick. This is sick. I would get a huge, a huge planter's wart. And I should I not tell this?

SPEAKER_01

No, you can't.

SPEAKER_02

And anyway, I'll make it short. I won't go into detail. I had the dermatologist that I would go to. And he would have to. This is so awful. But he was hot.

SPEAKER_01

I'm not going to anybody hot if I got a planner's warp marriage.

SPEAKER_02

I didn't choose. I just went somewhere and he walked in and I was like, well shit. And I had this huge planner's warp on my foot. I was pregnant. I had to go to him multiple times because they had they kept removing it and then would come back. And he would every time not look at my chart because the only like, you know, there's a big fat check yes or no if you're pregnant. He wouldn't even look at that. So I like he'd be like asking me about stuff and be like, Well, I'm pregnant. And he's like, Oh, I'm like, Yeah, you've been seeing me and also this whole time.

SPEAKER_01

Doctor, you need to know if I'm pregnant or not.

SPEAKER_02

While you're scraping my planners, what so one time he scraped it. He didn't band it. The nurse was I can't remember what she was talking about, but she was talking about things that like were not, should not have been talked about in the dentist office in the doctor's office. Like, what I don't know, not any just I was just like, this is I don't need to know this about you. It was like personal.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

She didn't binge me up, okay. I was leaving and I tracked blood. Oh I didn't realize till I got into the car. My foot was actively bleeding.

SPEAKER_01

You feel woozy.

SPEAKER_02

We can move on, that's it. But I he was hot, but he was also a jerk, I think.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I remember you saying he was kind of mean to you.

SPEAKER_02

He was kind of mean and he made me feel bad about my planner's wort. And I was like, this is your profession. If you didn't want to scrape people's planners' warts off. He would make you feel bad. Yeah, he'd be like, Yeah, you're not like so. He'd make me feel bad about my technique about trying to get rid of the wart.

SPEAKER_01

Ew.

SPEAKER_02

I know. Sorry, y'all.

SPEAKER_01

This is a whole something about my why haven't we got far enough in science to not have those anymore?

SPEAKER_02

Planter's warts. I know they shouldn't say I would take a pill for that so fast.

SPEAKER_01

I think about that all the time.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, this is like I would take a headache and diarrhea to get rid of a planter's wart. Because those things don't get they do not go away. Give me a list of side effects and I would do it.

SPEAKER_01

Like, do you ever think about like what kinds of things you would do a trial vaccine for? Because like What's yours? Uh the stomach bug.

SPEAKER_02

Oh.

SPEAKER_01

Not not one that like it's possible that I could actually get sick, but like if they're like, this works and it's brand new.

SPEAKER_02

You shouldn't do the trial.

Hot Dentist, Vulnerability, and Mr. Slurpee

SPEAKER_01

Don't know, not the trial, but like brand, sorry. You know what I mean? It's like it's brand new. We know it works. Okay, yes. But like we don't know long-term side effects. Oh, oh, I see. I'd be like, I don't care. Give it to me. To like give other people. I don't care if it makes me die at age like 83 guaranteed.

SPEAKER_02

They have that one good nausea medicine that Emily travels with our sister. Um, I have a child. No, that's my circle medicine. You also don't leave the house without that.

SPEAKER_01

I don't leave the house without that.

SPEAKER_02

Listen, if you're ever caught on a vacation with Caroline and she has a cold sore outbreak, you better go home. Buckle up. Because you're not gonna stop hearing about it. You sure aren't. It stresses her out.

SPEAKER_01

I did fine the last time we were in Beauford and I had one. No one even knew. I didn't know. You talked about it and you kept drinking after me because how quiet I was about it, and I kept being like, Meredith, I have a cold sore, stop drinking after me. You're right. So you've gotten better. I have because I always overdose on Altrex every time I take like double the record.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, yes, yes, yes. Okay, yes. Then I will I redact my last statement.

SPEAKER_01

Um We're just here being open and on it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you know about bottom of my feet. Okay, so what other what we were gonna talk about other things that age well? What did you have on your list?

SPEAKER_01

Um, okay, I wanted to talk about because we have started to talk about this before and have been like, no, no, no, let's save this for the podcast. But 90s diet.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. The only one I know about is a special K diet.

SPEAKER_01

South Beach Bits.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, what was South Beach?

SPEAKER_01

I think it was just like not good for you. I did a little I was like cottage cheese, which cottage cheese is bad, but I think it was like cottage cheese pineapple.

SPEAKER_02

News flash. Cottage cheese is so chic right now.

SPEAKER_01

She's so bad.

SPEAKER_02

I love cottage cheese.

SPEAKER_01

I never quit her. I don't love cottage cheese. It really freaks me out. But then that viral TikTok thing when it came out where it was like ground meat with cottage cheese, avocado, and honey. Sick. And I ate it. And I loved it. You ate it? Oh, cool. Oh, and sweet potato. And I ate it. And it's honestly kind of good. Like I enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_02

I've never done a savory cottage cheese.

SPEAKER_01

I enjoyed it. I will say my tummy hurt very, very, very bad afterwards. Like too much protein? No. Too many random ingredients.

SPEAKER_02

Too many soft foods.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I was a little unwell.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. I had a boss that had to go home one time because he had too many soft foods for lunch. Why did he tell you that? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

Is it the same one that would eat fi or drink fiber in the morning and all the time? No, that's a different one.

SPEAKER_02

I just want to say he This is the one that I told that I had indigestion and he shamed me for it, but then he's over there telling me he ate too many soft foods.

SPEAKER_01

That's another have we already asked the crowd if indigestion So many times. Okay, is it something? Have we ever? We never found out.

SPEAKER_02

We've never found out.

SPEAKER_01

Like, I don't think I need to be that embarrassed of my indigestion. Everyone guessed it.

SPEAKER_02

You had it earlier tonight.

SPEAKER_01

I did.

SPEAKER_02

You said I gotta take a Tums. Did you take a Tums?

SPEAKER_01

I didn't. It went away. I drink bubbly water.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Um Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Special Kisg. The special K diet is genius marketing. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

And we were on our family was doing it because it was like It literally was like, okay, there's a new diet. It's where you just eat our cereal for everyone. Every meal.

SPEAKER_02

And we were like, sign us up.

SPEAKER_01

Which we were already kind of doing anyway, just because we were a cereal family. Yeah. I don't know if that's common, but we had cereal for breakfast and dinner. Um probably couple times a week. A couple times a week, yeah. Yeah. If our mom said tonight's every man for himself, that meant go fix yourself a bowl of cereal. Yeah. And now that I'm thinking about this, I'm like, why don't I do that more?

SPEAKER_02

I know. We do it.

SPEAKER_01

We don't ever do that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, we do it sometimes. It's great.

SPEAKER_01

I need to really get into that because I it didn't affect me in a poor way at all.

SPEAKER_02

No, it was great.

SPEAKER_01

I feel like that was a great childhood memory.

Talk or Silent? Customer Service Matching

SPEAKER_02

It was great. Loved it. Um but yeah, but uh then dad was on and off South Beach. And he would make that nasty chocolate chocolates and quotations. Chocolate ice cream cottage cheese? It was probably cottage cheese, and it was runny. Like he put it in the freezer. What? We gotta ask him what that was. Wait, I'm gonna look it up.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so but then I I need to go back to the special K thing really fast because it really was such genius marketing. Yeah. Like special K.

SPEAKER_02

They bamboozled all of us.

SPEAKER_01

They bamboozled everyone. And I'm like, what is happening now that is doing the same thing to us? Like all the vitamin brands.

SPEAKER_02

Like, yeah, I mean, like, there's just every turn, every corner you turn around is like something being like, this is gonna change your life. Change your life. And you know who falls for every single one? My husband. Oh, we have one that like backfired. Hewell. Hewell, D-H-U-E-L.

SPEAKER_01

Hewell gives your tummy hail.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, it does. Just lots of air in there to the point where it was painful, and he looked it up, and it was like every single person who did Heel was like, my stomach is wrecked.

SPEAKER_01

Gosh.

SPEAKER_02

Like debilitating.

SPEAKER_01

And what did they think it was gonna do?

unknown

Like I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

I think it was like a vitamin protein powder or something, and we got like a huge bag of it in this dumb water bottle that made no sense. It was a water bottle that opened halfway down.

SPEAKER_01

No, you did another one of those one time.

SPEAKER_02

I did! Which one was it?

SPEAKER_01

It's like the powder one.

SPEAKER_02

It was like veggie powder or something. No, it wasn't veggie powder.

SPEAKER_01

But you gave me a bunch of yours. Those were fine.

SPEAKER_02

But anytime I subscribe to anything, I can't I never keep it up because I don't want that coming out of my budget every month.

SPEAKER_01

I know, right? Yeah. But and the special K wasn't really like that because you could just buy four boxes every time you went to the show.

SPEAKER_02

Alright, are y'all ready for this South Beach diet? Yeah. Oh gosh. This can't be it. Wait. This can't be it. We gotta We'd have to ask Dad if this is it. One sugar-free fudge sickle.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02

Two tablespoons of peanut butter and two to three tablespoons of cool whip.

SPEAKER_01

That's not it. And also that's not healthy.

SPEAKER_02

That's the thing with these diets, though. They were like only focused on one ingredient. It wasn't like it was like in the 90s, everyone was getting rid of rid of fat. Like good fat, bad fat. Fat was like the ultimate enemy. That's good for you. But we didn't we at yes, we found out later when everyone cut it out of everything, and then everyone was like losing bone density or whatever. And then went to no carbs. Like in the 2000s it was low carb.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

So every like and now I feel like our all of our things are like probiotic, prebiotic, all your vitamins, and I you're still cutting calorie. I think now it's like more calories. You're trying to like my God. And I just eat what I want.

SPEAKER_01

I eat, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Well, and it's just like you're never I try to just find a little balance in my day.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

You know?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I'm just like, you're never going to be able to keep up. I've got to do the special K diet.

SPEAKER_02

I know.

SPEAKER_01

Let's just go back to that.

SPEAKER_02

I I, you know, of all the things people were doing, I feel like that might have been one of the healthier ones. It's a lot of sugar.

Dental “Innovations” and Texture Terrors

SPEAKER_01

Our dad also went through this phase where he was on the Daniel diet. What's that? Or the Daniel plan. It was like a biblically based diet.

SPEAKER_02

When was this?

SPEAKER_01

I guess you were out of the house already. My God. Our dad, so the thing about our dad is that like he is a all or nothing. All or nothing. Bandwagoner is not like the right word, but like he jumps on a trend. Yes. And he'll tell you about it. We like have an inside joke, and I say this really lovingly because he's one of a kind person. But he we have this joke in our family because he got so obsessed with flonets. It was like the cure-all for allergies. And he like kept telling all of us separately several times how to use it. Yeah. He's like, you don't snort it now. You just spray a little bit in there, and then you pinch your nose a little bit. And then finally we're all like, what's up with dad and the flonet? So we heard a lot about the South Beach and the Daniel plant. Yes.

SPEAKER_02

He's do he's we he has some kind of vitamin on the counter right now.

SPEAKER_01

I thought that was mom's. It's like IMB8.

SPEAKER_02

I think it's I said I think it's like the older generation's um veggie powder. Yeah. What what's the veggie powder we're getting at for all the freaking bloom? No, it's AG1. Yes. I think it's like AG1, but being marketed to a different demographic, essentially. And it's red. It's like the it's like the exact opposite of Yeah, ours is green.

SPEAKER_01

That's so funny.

SPEAKER_02

I know.

SPEAKER_01

Anyway. Okay, but back to the Daniel plan thing. I feel like this is kind of an interesting segue into the trend right now of eating meats on wooden cutting boards, which we didn't know was a thing. But our friend told us about this, like a trend. Is it a trend? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

I think it's just like a like a macho guy Instagram thing. But like or like TikTok thing.

SPEAKER_01

They're just like eating meat.

SPEAKER_02

Like raw.

SPEAKER_01

Not raw, like steaks.

SPEAKER_02

Why are they eating off of the board? That's a good question.

The Hot Dermatologist and Medical Red Flags

SPEAKER_01

It's like more like steaks and avocados on a wooden cutting board, but it's like a thing, apparently. It's like a status symbol or something. Yeah. It's weird. But then we found this guy who was doing it that we were convinced is like actually 12.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, but in his whole bio's like, I'm 18, I promise. Look at my ID. He has a picture of his ID on his highlights. He's not 18. You don't think? I just think that screams I'm not 18. Anyway, you don't know anything about the Daniel diet? I did not think. What the heck is the Daniel diet?

SPEAKER_01

Biblically based diet.

SPEAKER_02

You eat milk and honey and mana?

SPEAKER_01

Based on what Daniel ate.

SPEAKER_02

What did Daniel eat? Grains?

SPEAKER_01

I don't know what Daniel ate. Does anyone know what Daniel ate? Did he And wasn't Daniel if Daniel was eating it, wasn't everyone else in that time? I don't know, but I'm also like, did he write down his diet in the world? I know what is happening. I don't remember anyone writing a diet plan down.

SPEAKER_02

Also, I randomly listened to this part of the Bible today where the mana comes up from the ground. It's like the mana part. Have you ever heard it described?

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_02

It's really gross.

SPEAKER_01

It's like Isn't it like moldy or something?

SPEAKER_02

No, it like. There's like all these quail on the ground in the morning, and then the quail fly away, and they said it looked like dew on the ground, but it was manna. But all I could think of was dandruff. They said it was like flaky white, like pieces of like quail dandruff. That's what it is. No, I don't think so. But it it doesn't sound appetizing. Like I would be pissed too if I was eating that for 40 years. 40 years. 40 years. Anyway, that's a whole nother segue, but fun fact. The mana diet.

SPEAKER_01

But yes, I think that there's so many weird fads of things that I think aren't going to age well.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Like a diet where people are like only eating meat from the city.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, what like the caveman diet? And I'm like, they're just eating like meat and veggies.

SPEAKER_01

No veggies. There's some people that are literally only eating meat. And I'm like, okay, that's fine if that's like all that you like, but you probably fart so much.

SPEAKER_02

Or not, or like, or your stomach is a freaking regular one.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, yes, probably, because vegans are probably farting all the time. Oh, wait.

SPEAKER_02

They're regular.

SPEAKER_01

Remember video like this? You have the girl being like eight-hour road trip snacks. Oh yes. It was like boiled eggs. Sardines and boiled eggs. Okay. A whole like 24 boiled eggs. And sardines. And like cherry jello. Homemade cherry jello. Yeah. And everyone in the comments was like eight-hour fart trip. But it reminded me of the time that I went on a safari.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

In Africa.

SPEAKER_02

Mm-hmm.

90s Diets, Special K, and South Beach

SPEAKER_01

And I was so, I was like, there doing mission stuff. And at the end of it, they're like, okay, we're gonna take everyone on a safari as a surprise. We're all like, yay! And they're like, okay, but it's a long drive, so everyone buckle up and like everyone, there's there was like a group of people that made snacks for everyone. Okay, keep in mind, we're on the equator. Such a funny way to say it's so hot. So hot. You're on a charter bus with about 20 people. And guess what the snack was for this long ride to a safari? A boiled egg and a tuna fish sandwich.

SPEAKER_02

And wasn't it like not even it wasn't like a safari where like the oh you didn't really get there yet?

SPEAKER_01

Oh we get to the safari and I'm already like, get me off this effing bus. It smells like fish and eggs. It's hot as hell. I'm car sick, and they're like, mmm, there's too many of you guys. You're gonna have to go on the safari in the bus. So we're just riding through the freaking safari lands in a chart hot, fishy, eggy charter bus. Like an eight-passenger? A bigger. Oh.

SPEAKER_02

Bigger.

SPEAKER_01

We got stuck. We got stuck.

SPEAKER_02

Oh no. Like in the sand.

SPEAKER_01

We all had to get out and put them on. We barely saw any animals. I think we saw. They were like, something stinks.

SPEAKER_00

The animals are like.

SPEAKER_01

What is that pungent fish smell? Um, but then we also saw a some animal with a giant boner. Oh. And like half of the I didn't know what was going on.

SPEAKER_02

I think that's a guarantee on a safari. Like you see a giant boner at some point.

SPEAKER_01

Like a bingo card.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. I s yeah, that happened to me in the Dominican Republic. We weren't on a safari. We were at a hotel. We were at a hotel.

SPEAKER_01

What'd you see? What are you doing?

SPEAKER_02

A horse.

SPEAKER_01

I hated it. I hated it. I hated it. What kind of animal did you see? I think it was an elephant. Oh my gosh. It was really stupid. I've seen it, I've seen that at the zoo. Maybe. But okay, we told these, we told this girl, like while we were watching it. We were like, not that, but while we were like looking out the window of the safari, we were like, oh my gosh, this is where the Lion King was filmed. And she was like, no way. Like she like really thought that we were where the Lion King was filmed.

SPEAKER_02

Baby, it's a cartoon. We need a little rewat.

SPEAKER_01

I know. So that was a great safari.

SPEAKER_02

Was she the same one that didn't know what the boner was? Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Didn't get out.

SPEAKER_01

Which, like, what a great life.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

No questions asked about much.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Okay. I have a few things that I would like to address that don't have they will not find a place on any other episode. They're very random.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. I have one too that I thought of yesterday.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. One, Oshkosh trucks.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Yeah. Why did that exist?

SPEAKER_02

No, no, no. Are they related to Oshkosh baby clothes?

SPEAKER_01

Wait, do Oshkosh trucks really exist?

SPEAKER_02

Yes, I've seen I see them all the time on the road. They're like Oshkosh 18 wheelers. The logo is like different, but the same enough that I'm like, are these like what is what is it? What is the Oshkosh trucks? They're not delivering baby clothes. They look very industrial.

SPEAKER_01

Are you sure?

SPEAKER_02

I'm positive.

SPEAKER_01

They're not filled with teeny tiny whittle walls.

SPEAKER_02

You know, I could Google it, but I never have. Okay, my other thing. My other question is how do you feel about a pretzel bun?

SPEAKER_01

I never choose it ever. Okay. I avoid them at all costs.

SPEAKER_02

Restaurants are always like, we have pretzel buns. And I think every time who is choosing asking about who a who wants this?

SPEAKER_01

No one. I don't want it. I don't want it. I thought that honestly recently.

SPEAKER_02

You know who has one right now? Chick-fil-A. I don't want a pretzel bun.

SPEAKER_01

Not Chick-fil-A. I like your bun. I like your regular ass bun.

SPEAKER_02

I've just never eaten a soft pretzel and thought I want more food on this.

SPEAKER_01

I know. And like all a soft pretzel needs is a little salt and mustard.

SPEAKER_02

I know. Okay, I'm glad we're on the same page because Yeah, I think it's so stupid.

SPEAKER_01

I saw it in the Chick-fil-A line the other day and I thought the same exact thing I said. Who asked for that?

SPEAKER_02

I know.

SPEAKER_01

Who said who typed in to Chick-fil-A and said, I want a pretzel bun?

SPEAKER_02

I don't know. You know what I mean? It's one of the greatest mysteries of this world.

SPEAKER_01

I want them to make mac and cheese be a kid's meal.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So that I can get mac and cheese and fruit. I know.

SPEAKER_02

That's all my kids want.

SPEAKER_01

Same. We should write in. We should. Clearly it works. Someone wrote in about a dang pretzel bun.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, that's so in- I've never voiced that opinion, but I've I just think pretzel buns are the worst.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Me too.

SPEAKER_02

I don't want it.

SPEAKER_01

Me neither.

Modern Wellness Hype: AG1, Huel, and Stomach Drama

SPEAKER_02

Bagel? Yes.

SPEAKER_01

But like a bagel sandwich, not like a bagel chicken sandwich.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_01

I want a bagel like a big bag.

SPEAKER_02

Although Chick-fil-A does have that bagel breakfast sandwich. That's different.

SPEAKER_01

If it's breakfast.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, okay, yeah. I mean, it's no different than the well, it has an egg on it. Yeah. I again I digress. Okay, what was your thing?

SPEAKER_01

My thing is those stupid little BMWs that can't decide if they want to be a car or an SUV.

SPEAKER_02

I saw one of those for the first time today on my way here.

SPEAKER_01

I see them all the time, and Jay and I are always like a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of look like little hatchbacks. It's like a BMW hatchback. It's literally like an SUV car. Like or like little car mixed with an SUV. Like I can't figure out what it's trying to be.

SPEAKER_02

I saw one of those today and I thought I've never seen one of those before.

SPEAKER_01

What were your thoughts?

SPEAKER_02

I thought at first that's kind of cute, and then I thought, who would drive that?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Because I was like, oh, that'd be kind of a cute mom car, and then I was like, no, it's too small.

SPEAKER_01

And it's weird. I also am not a hatchpad girly. So like maybe that's why I'm always like does not know what it wants to be.

SPEAKER_02

I sometimes think it'd be really cool to have a wood panel station wagon for my like around town car.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, but it that's not a hatchback. That's not a hatchback. That's like an SUV.

SPEAKER_02

No. Station wagon's not on the SUV, I don't think. It's like low to the ground.

SPEAKER_01

It's like a it's kind of like an outback.

SPEAKER_02

See, isn't that a hatchback? What's a hatchback?

SPEAKER_01

I think of like those weird little Hondas that like look like a ladybug.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Well, that's all I got tonight.

SPEAKER_01

Same. We really talked everyone's ear off about it.

SPEAKER_02

We really turned our moods around.

SPEAKER_01

It did. It really did. We started being like We were grumpy. We were grumpy. And I just laughed more than I have in like the past three days. I know. Thanks. Sorry, everyone, if that was like kind of gross in some parts.

SPEAKER_02

I think it was just real.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So if anyone out there has a planner's wart or a cold sore or a tummy full of gas. A tummy full of gas from something that an influencer sold them on Instagram. Just know that you're not alone. And that's what you're not alone. Is always someone out there that can relate to your story.

SPEAKER_02

Yep. See you next Tuesday. Next Tuesday.