Sister Sh*t
Hey there, podcast lovers. We're Caroline and Meredith and we're here to bring you our brand new podcast, Sister Sh*t. We're two sisters with a passion for storytelling, silliness and shooting the shit. Get ready to join us as we dive into a wide range of topics that matter to us and we're sure matter to you too, from millennial nostalgia and current events, to personal growth, motherhood and hilarious stories from our childhoods.
We're bringing you your weekly dose of too much information. We'll give you a sneak peek into our lives and bring on captivating guests who will inspire or, at the very least, make you laugh.
So, whether you're commuting, working out or washing your 100th sink of dishes today, grab your headphones and hang out with us. Stay tuned for upcoming episodes and be part of our podcast family. Subscribe wherever you get podcasts.
Sister Sh*t
Bad Dates Pt. 3
Ever had a date so awful that all you could do was laugh about it later? Well, fasten your seatbelts, because Meredith and I, Caroline, are about to take you on a hilarious journey through the minefield of romantic blunders on Sister Shit. From my painfully awkward high school date, which included the surprise company of my beau's father, to the hilariously outlandish stories we've received from you - our fearless listeners - you're in for a treat. We’ll recount tales that will have you both cringing and cracking up, like the story of a Tinder date with a Star Wars fixation and a penchant for oversharing, and an OKCupid misadventure under the Christmas lights of New Orleans that you won't forget.
Expect to hear about the kind of dates that make for legendary stories - like the boyfriend whose cat possessed an astonishing number of lives and the Valentine's Day that was memorable for very unconventional reasons. We weave through these dating mishaps with laughter, occasional cringes, and a soundtrack of pop anthem wisdom. Swap your own dating disaster tales for ours and join in the commiseration and chuckles. Whether you’re single, taken, or it’s complicated, tune in for an episode where the only thing serious is how seriously funny these stories are.
Hello, hello, happy Tuesday, happy Tuesday Welcome to. Sister Shit, I'm Meredith, I'm Caroline and we've got a Bad Dates episode for you.
Speaker 2:Yes, we are so excited. It's been a long time coming.
Speaker 1:Thank you guys so much for submitting your Bad Dates. We'll continue to do these episodes every like periodically. So if you just just keep the conversation going, so if you just just keep the Bad Dates coming, is what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Coming. Please, please, keep going on. Bad Date yes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, actually, I hope none of these are current, but if you've got them in the archives, we have a place for them. They can leave your brain and live here. Yes, okay, so we just get into it. Do we have anything to talk about before, are you?
Speaker 2:ready. I mean, I am stoked. I always wait. Are you telling your Bad Date? No, I was just going to tell you.
Speaker 1:Well, I have, I have, I could tell, my first ever date. It's like not as notable as, like these, the ones that I'm going to share, it was just like a typical awkward first date where so we weren't allowed to date until we were 16. Like we could have a boyfriend but we weren't allowed to go on a date until we were 16. Which is so confusing it doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1:But so I got. I got invited on a date. This was a guy that I like. I'm pretty sure we were like in first grade together. And then I saw him again we like remit when we moved back to Buford. He asked me on a date to a football game. I said yes, it was classic. But kicker boy couldn't drive. So I'm in 10th grade, he's in ninth, another kicker one year younger. When you're in 10th grade is leaps and bounds. So nice kid, but his dad has to pick me up and it just feels at this point like I'm 16.
Speaker 3:Isn't the whole point of being able?
Speaker 1:to go on a date when you're 16 that one of us can drive. I'm pretty sure I was driving. Maybe he just wanted to pick you up that bad he was.
Speaker 2:like I need this to be.
Speaker 1:I wasn't. I don't know what, I don't know why. Okay, but anyway, cause I got my license very early. Maybe he was just like I'm going to pick you up Actually my dad's going to pick you up and like I don't even remember if he sat in the front seat.
Speaker 3:If I sat, in the front seat with his dad Also.
Speaker 1:his dad was a teacher at the school Caroline.
Speaker 3:It was like and not like. I want to know who this is, Not a teacher, that people?
Speaker 1:like really liked. I think it was a teacher that people like really didn't enjoy. Oh no, I didn't have him personally, but well, you went on a date with him, basically I know. So we get to, his dad drops us off for the football game. Nothing to write like no notes. I mean, it was just really awkward. We watched the game. I think he bought me like something from the snack bar.
Speaker 1:And so that's the story? Yeah, that's it, but that was just like my first date, like my actual. Well gosh, is that even true, Cause I went on dates when we lived in Charleston? Okay, so I go on a date with this guy, wait.
Speaker 2:I don't know, but I want to know on a side topic, what was your favorite thing to order out of a concession stand at a football game?
Speaker 1:Oh, hot dog, Hands down man.
Speaker 2:See, we didn't. Did we have pretzels? I don't think I was talking about any are?
Speaker 1:we talking any concession stand or just like cause.
Speaker 3:I don't remember what it was for highs.
Speaker 2:I'm talking about what my classic order was at the. Buford Middle School gym.
Speaker 1:Well, what was yours?
Speaker 2:It was a big ass pickle in a bag, ew, ew. They would put a giant pickle in a little sandwich bag to kind of fold over.
Speaker 1:So they weren't the pre-wrapped ones. Cause, I would take that no it was.
Speaker 2:It came from a giant jar. They would pull it out with tongs and stick it into a sandwich bag yes, I'm about that.
Speaker 1:Shots of pickle juice at the skating rink at birthday party. 50 cents, babies.
Speaker 2:Um, but I would always make someone else. This is so weird. I'd always like you like. Well, you take the first bite. I never wanted to take the first bite because it looked weird.
Speaker 1:Caroline, what the hell. You're sweet friends, I know.
Speaker 2:They loved you. I don't know if anyone did it for me, but I remember thinking like can someone?
Speaker 1:else do this? Did you make people do that with bananas?
Speaker 2:No, it was just the big jumbo pickle.
Speaker 1:The jumbo pickle.
Speaker 2:In the sixth grade. If you're going to order the jumbo pickle, you've got to take the first bite.
Speaker 1:Okay, I know no one else wants that pickle.
Speaker 2:I also went through this phase where my favorite thing to order at Sonic this was in high school. My favorite thing to order at Sonic was the fried pickles, but I was too embarrassed to order it with anyone else. So I had like a select few people that I would order the fried pickles with what, and I don't know. I don't know why it felt so embarrassing.
Speaker 3:You have food anxiety, but I wanted to go.
Speaker 1:You had pickle anxiety.
Speaker 2:I ended up fully owning it because I remember taking a jar of pickles to a party and using it as a chaser in high school.
Speaker 1:So I ended up getting over it Just from one end of the specs up to the other. So we got to unpack that. But we don't have time tonight because we got to get to bad dates. Okay. So, are we ready?
Speaker 2:I'm ready.
Speaker 1:Okay, the first one is an SFW, so I mean, I don't know that. I think that's generally kind of the vibe. But I don't think anything on our podcast is SFW.
Speaker 3:Well, no, but this one has like a pretty sexual.
Speaker 2:Great Sign me up. I can't wait.
Speaker 1:Okay. So I mean, you're probably gonna be like Meredith, you're a perude, but I don't know. There's just like there's any, we'll get to it. Okay, are we ready? Yeah, here we go.
Speaker 1:After being newly single in college, my senior year I went on a Tinder date. Tinder was basically the only dating app at the time. This guy on Tinder asked me to go out to get coffee, even though I don't drink coffee. I said yes because he seemed cool from his profile and I was open to meeting new people, and it was during the day, which is obviously safer than going for dinner. I met him outside of the coffee shop, which happened to be next to an ice cream shop. I don't remember who made the comment first, but he ended up saying he does not drink coffee, even though he had asked me out specifically for coffee. So we ended up at the ice cream shop. The first red flag was that he did not pay for the ice cream, even though he had asked me out on the date, and it was probably only $4. Actually, the first red flag is that he was wearing a beanie.
Speaker 2:It was. I knew what month it was.
Speaker 1:I know I don't have a thing against beanies. Maybe it was, let's see. Did she say newly single in college? My senior year I don't know Could have been August. Okay, he was friendly, but I was getting weird vibes the entire time. He was really obsessed with Star Wars and I have never seen any of those movies, nor will I ever. Sorry, don't judge me. I know that he was obsessed with Star Wars because he was explaining to me what his bedroom looked like. Apparently it was Star Wars, lightning Rodswords and big cutouts. I'm not sure. Lightning Rodswords, what is that?
Speaker 2:Oh, I think it's like a lightsaber, not a. Lightning Rodsword. Lightning Rodsword.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm not sure. Red flag number three why are you telling me what your bedroom looks like Towards?
Speaker 2:the end of the day, all of this is odd, yeah.
Speaker 1:Towards the end of the day, I was ready to go home and planned on never talking to this guy again. My excuse but also very true was that I had a test the next day. He asked me what the test was for and, instead of making up a less awkward subject, I told him the truth. The test was for psychology of human sexual behavior. As you can imagine, that opened up a door to that conversation. Oh please. We were talking about the class and the content. I shared that my professor had showed us the video clip from the movie.
Speaker 1:When Harry met Sally, where they're sitting in a restaurant and Sally is explaining how often women fake orgasms and how easy it is to fake, my Tinder date and I were laughing like I said. It was a friendly environment, but not in any way was I interested in pursuing this any further. I was ready to go home and never talk to him again. The final red flag was that he said was that he said he had faked orgasm with a girl because he said it wasn't ending, it was taking forever. Oh, and he told me that he spit on the girl's stomach to pretend it was his mm-hmm and so that it could be over quicker. And then I proceeded. And then he proceeded to ask me if I wanted to go home with him. After telling me that I blocked him, I got.
Speaker 2:I gosh. Yeah, that sounds great. I'd love to go home to your Star Wars bedroom right now.
Speaker 1:So I know the girl. Yeah, I had to have known, I'm sure, I'm sure.
Speaker 2:How that would work.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we don't need to go in like a guy faking an orgasm anyway is like so funny. But I don't know, I we, I don't know because it was lasting too long If I'm sorry, but there might be something going on. I Anyway hats off.
Speaker 2:Thank, you for giving us that memory. Yeah, now we can hold it forever. I really I Don't know what. I wonder what he's doing now. Honestly, the theme in all of these is I'm like what are they doing now?
Speaker 1:I know, I know, yep oh.
Speaker 2:Man.
Speaker 1:I know, I would love to know. All right, are you ready for the next one? Yeah, okay, obviously, okay, okay, let me. This is really fun acting, crypt reading okay, or narrative reading. Anyway, I was living in New Orleans going to grad school circa 2010 and, like any elder millennial, was participating in the hellscape that is online dating. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that it was okay, cupid.
Speaker 3:I matched.
Speaker 1:I matched is that the okay, okay, okay, cupid term? I can't even remember, but this guy who seemed normal enough, he was a photographer, so his photos were nicely staged and were honestly, very interesting. He photographed a lot of professional sporting events and if you know anything about New Orleans in 2010, it's at the saints of that time were the shit. They had won the Super Bowl, they had just won the Super Bowl and while messaging with this guy, he even offered that he gets he even offered that he gets extra tickets to their games and I could go with him. It was exciting. Oh shoot, I know 2023 me wouldn't leave the house to go out to a sporting event with a man different times. Anyway, we met up on a date with which consisted of going to a park to see a Christmas light display.
Speaker 1:Because I was a naive 22 year old, I picked him up and my little Honda Civic do not ever do this. I was bargaining with my, with my life and not knowing it. He was kind of weird and quirky, but I just chalked this up to first-date jitters. A couple of hours into the date, I was feeling it. So, feeling it so, like sorry. A couple of hours into the date. I wasn't feeling it so, like any reasonable person with a uterus, I feigned period cramps so I could drop this man off and be rid of him. I pulled up outside of his house and he was pressing me to come inside and keep hanging out all that I told him no and that I needed to leave and I wasn't feeling well. Out of nowhere, this man pulls out his phone and tells me that he just wants to play me a song on his phone to cheer me up. What Thought so far?
Speaker 2:I want to get out of the car. So bad for them. But she drove, remember, oh, oh oh, so he just won't get out of the car, Okay that puts things into perspective.
Speaker 1:I know, alright, my man starts playing a song on this app. That is I shit you, not a fart piano.
Speaker 2:What, what.
Speaker 1:I think what's happening is like it was an app with keys and he played her a song and it was farting. She said a literal piano that makes fart noises, not actual music sounds, musical sounds. And he was serious, he was into it, he was not joking. Oh what. I was dumbfounded after this went on for an incredibly awkward several minutes.
Speaker 3:And I finally.
Speaker 1:Finally Gathered my composure. I reached across him, unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the car door and basically pushed him out of my car.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, you can't make that up. A fart piano For a minute long. I couldn't take that for more than three fart.
Speaker 1:I hate that she couldn't get out. I would have put that car in drive and jumped out my own car seat and let her run into a wall.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, that's horrible. Honestly, you saying that reminds me of this was not a date, but it's like sort of a date.
Speaker 2:It's not a date, but I was giving my friend son whenever I was in high school. My friend was much older than me. It sounds so weird. I used to tutor her son and give him rides and stuff. I picked him up from school and then wanted to stop by my boyfriend's house. Really fast, this poor kid. He was also in high school. He wasn't young, young but like I put him through some shit. Sorry, reese, but I drove him to my boyfriend's house and I'm like to pick up my boyfriend so I could take him to work or something, because he was like 20 something and had a suspended license or something.
Speaker 2:He was late to the crab shack. So we get in a fight in front of Reese and he did this. I did not start the fight, he used to start fights all the time. I'm like kind of starting to get mad at him and I'm driving this mother effer slams my car into park while I am driving.
Speaker 1:What a lunatic.
Speaker 2:Like that could seriously mess up your car or like the people inside of it. I know, and I know, like I think now cars you have to like, press the brake to move the stick, but he literally like just slammed it into park as I was driving it and poor kid in the back seat was just in the middle Just watching us fight, watching us like get into this whole argument. Oh my gosh, Even the kid, he's. So I can't. He's not a kid anymore, but he's the nicest person on the planet.
Speaker 2:Yeah he really is Even after witnessing that he's like I don't know. He can be nice sometimes. Oh, no Like he just I was like no he's the war.
Speaker 1:Wait, okay, to close this out, can you please tell the story of the cat, the dead cat? Oh, my gosh.
Speaker 2:It's not in a date, but it's.
Speaker 1:I had a boyfriend for a minute. This is a little longer than a minute.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it's. I had a boyfriend for a couple of minutes, Okay. So I had this boyfriend who used to tell me all kinds of things that it wasn't true.
Speaker 3:And.
Speaker 2:I just never had the energy to like be like you're lying because it was way you had to put out way more energy than it was worth. It was easier. It was like one of those things where it's easier to just be like yeah, okay, you know what I mean. Like when someone does something that's unbelievable, but they're not worth it. Okay, so yes, I know this happened.
Speaker 1:You're into melee with that all the time.
Speaker 2:Well, the most memorable time was the night of my sister's wedding, your wedding. Yes, we get into this huge fight because that's all he ever wanted to do was fight all the time. So I'm dancing, I'm having a good old time. He's chain smoking cigarettes out on the outside of the door. Keep in mind it's all windows.
Speaker 3:Peering through the window, you can just see him.
Speaker 2:He's peering at me through the window chain smoking cigarettes, and then he flips me off through the window in front of everybody. I forgot about all. So I go outside and I'm like I won't, I refuse to fight with you on the night of my sister's wedding. You come to me on the night of my sister's wedding. But if he was, I'm like screaming at him in the parking lot. But he's like the type that like will not let me leave, Like I can't get away from him.
Speaker 3:Like.
Speaker 2:I need to go in. I literally need to go in. My sister's wedding is happening. Do not keep me in this parking lot, and he's like you know. He just won't let it happen. So finally, a rogue cousin comes and drags me away, thank God.
Speaker 1:I'm not familiar with these kinds of situations.
Speaker 2:My life.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So she drags me away. She's like get your sisters, get your ass inside. So I go inside and I said, and one of like Meredith's best friends growing up, her little sister is my age and she was also at the wedding and she's like let's go out. And I'm like, yes, we're going out tonight. So I turn my phone on. I like ignore all his stuff. We're out and about. He is blowing up my shit. Okay, he's got set his. He lives with his mom. His mom has a million cats. Okay, he's like.
Speaker 1:That's how your phone was off.
Speaker 2:No, I just like was ignoring his stuff.
Speaker 1:Oh like.
Speaker 2:I just sort of like put him on ignore, but I like can still see all of his messages. Yeah, and he's like telling me I just ran over my cat's head and it's dead and I'm burying it right now. Caroline, answer your phone. I'm burying the cat right now.
Speaker 1:It was like your favorite cat, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, out of the six, it was my favorite cat. He chose my favorite one, of course, and I'm like listen, if this cat is really unwell, I'm going to be sad, but but I'm not coming home. I'm also having a good ass time, so this can wait until it's already dead.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what am I going to do tomorrow? I can help you dig a hole.
Speaker 2:No, so I'm having the time of my life. My sweet friend Leanne, who helped me with through all of these bad relationships, is like I'm taking her phone for the night, so she finally takes my phone. We have a good night. I wake up the next morning and I'm like shit, now I got to go deal with this. So I go over to his house, I pull up, I immediately see the cat and I'm like bro, you told me that, you, I think he thought I was just going to like magically not bring it up, because I hadn't ever brought up all of his other lives in the past.
Speaker 2:And I'm like I thought that the I thought that you ran over this cat last night. This is his response. Oh, I did, and I did bury him, but he crawled out of the ground this morning. He came back to life and he crawled out of the ground this morning but don't bring it up in front of my mom, because she's really sensitive about it. Still, he wanted me to believe that and you know what it was. So not worth the energy that I just said, okay.
Speaker 1:And then how long did you stay with him after that? That was kind of a nail in the coffin, that was the nail in the coffin internally. The nail in the cat coffin.
Speaker 2:He kind of blacked me for a little bit, so I couldn't let it go completely Shoot, and then thank goodness. Never write time to say goodbye.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That song amped my ass up on the way to the Sonic parking lot. I listened to it two times in a row.
Speaker 1:Did you?
Speaker 3:get fried pickles.
Speaker 2:Never. I don't know if I did, but I should have. And I said listen bro, there's never a right time to say goodbye. Did you use?
Speaker 3:the lyrics. I didn't actually say that.
Speaker 2:Oh gosh, but no, I didn't use the lyrics.
Speaker 1:Missed opportunity.
Speaker 2:I know Missed opportunity, but I didn't use the lyrics to sing this song.
Speaker 3:And then I and I didn't have to do the lyrics to sing the songs, but I reused the lyrics.
Speaker 1:For as many as little like bad dates that I've had.
Speaker 2:I've had enough like bad boyfriend experiences. Yeah, that relationship experiences. So yeah, fun, I do have a bad day.
Speaker 1:Oh, I can.
Speaker 2:I was going to say sweet, j redeemed things, but I do have a bad date that I went on with J.
Speaker 2:For Valentine oh yeah, notoriously bad about planting things and that's not like. He will say like, yeah, I've messed up quite a few times. Not a gift, it's not his gift, it is mine. I will have a whole spreadsheet if you want me to. Yeah, so for Valentine's Day one year he's like okay, we're going to this really amazing sushi restaurant downtown Savannah and I'm like so excited. So we this was like, I think, maybe our first or second year dating. So keep in mind that we were like 19 or something. And we pull up and he doesn't have reservations and we quickly realized that it's the wrong location and the one that he made reservations for was in like a shopping center, like one of the like. It was like a second location. Bad vibes yeah, yeah, which, as you know from my last or last episode with the Red Robin, I am not good with bad vibes. So we show up and I'm a little bit like this one's not nearly as cool and, mike, it's just not giving off the right, you know.
Speaker 2:So, we go in and they're like oh, I think because we were late, because we showed up the other one first, we missed our reservation.
Speaker 1:Oh shoot.
Speaker 2:So we like ended up in we had to go a flight of stairs into this like attic space and sit like in a literal like attic, closet with one other table.
Speaker 1:Did they make it for you on the spot, or did that did it exist, I think?
Speaker 2:they just like oh, I think it existed previously, but like it was like the room where they put people who missed their reservation. Yeah, oh no, and the EJ was embarrassed when I was like trying to be like it's fine, it's totally fine. But I think I was clearly like where are we?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so but you know what this is really. A good moral to the story of bad dates is that bad dates don't always end Like if someone. If you like someone and vibe with someone, a bad date doesn't break the relationship. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Yes, Like the place doesn't, it's the person. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like the bad dates with someone you like are the most telling of like how much you like somebody. Yes, because you still enjoyed being with them.
Speaker 2:And we were both like dying, laughing at the circumstances because it was just like. This is so not romantic.
Speaker 1:He's and I have a couple of those too, where it was like we still talk about them and it's like, yeah, they just become memories.
Speaker 2:Memories. Is that from Cats?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh my god.
Speaker 2:Love a good Broadway show Reference.
Speaker 1:He thought I did go on to a Broadway show one time and he had Bronchitis and he coughed through the entire show. Sorry, Keith.
Speaker 3:What show.
Speaker 1:was it? Dude? That is a date we talk about. He's always like we want to go see Book of Mormon and I coughed through the whole thing.
Speaker 2:I'm like, yeah, oh gosh, yeah, which I still haven't seen. Book of Mormon, but somebody I like posted the other day that I was looking for new music and someone was like the entire Book of Mormon show.
Speaker 1:That was pretty funny.
Speaker 2:And I was like, oh OK.
Speaker 1:I don't know that I'd like listen to it in my car, but it's very funny.
Speaker 2:What is a Broadway soundtrack that you'll listen to in your car? Not Hamilton. Everyone loves Hamilton. I do.
Speaker 1:No, I say Wicked, but I've never listened to Wicked in my car. I don't really listen to Broadway in my car. Yeah, remember the concert that you should.
Speaker 2:I know there's a couple like on the way to Disney recently with my friends that I was in drama class with. We like really listened to Hairstpry because we were in that play together and we like sing the songs to each other. It was very fun. That's fun.
Speaker 1:Were you going to ask me?
Speaker 2:I don't remember OK.
Speaker 1:Well, this was super fun. It was as we said if you have bad dates, keep sending them our way, and we will, every once in a while, do a little epi.
Speaker 3:So yes.
Speaker 1:And push them out into the universe.
Speaker 2:Smooth. Yes and yeah. I don't know what we're going to be doing next week, but we'll surprise you guys?
Speaker 1:No, I have, we have a guest. We have a guest. You didn't tell me. Yes, I did. Do I know who it? Is I'm going to remind Caroline, we need to confirm with the guest. We're not going to say who it is quite yet, but we are 90% sure we have a guest for next Tuesday.
Speaker 2:You have a guest and I'm so excited about what?
Speaker 1:we're talking about she's salty, she's salty, ok, she's ready to bring a.
Speaker 2:what do you call it a?
Speaker 1:List of grievances.
Speaker 2:She has a list of grievances and she's ready to bring down a what do you call it?
Speaker 1:Indoor water park?
Speaker 2:Oh, it's going to say an establishment, oh establishment.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Ok, well, we will see you next Tuesday.
Speaker 3:See you next Tuesday.